Last week, we were awarded the distinct (read: farty, stinky, stupid) pleasure of discovering that one in five people in relationships are in love with someone else. We were disgusted, appalled, defiant, and teary-eyed over this news at the Madame Noire offices. We asked ourselves: how could a man look a woman in the face and pretend to love her when he’s really still pining over someone else? How could a woman look her man in the face and be secretly in love with Makulaka from the fourth grade?
“Just get over your ex!” we yelled. “Move on, you shameful people,” we judged…and judged the filthy people, until suddenly, we turned the plaid-embroidered Gucci mirror on ourselves and asked if we were still in love with someone from our pasts. Maybe we were. Maybe we weren’t. Either way, we decided to champion a “move on” movement. And now, the Madame Noire MOVE ON movement has been born! It’s time to MOVE ON from love lost (especially if the love was never good for you anyway)!
In the ‘Comments’ section, write two sentences of closure to any love you’ve lost.
I ended our relationship because you were broke as hell & your comedy job sucked. Now, I’m letting go of the past, because we’ve grown up, and you’ve blown up & I guess now the joke’s on me.