Don’t Text Your Ex! Things To Tell Yourself Before Picking Up The Phone

April 1, 2012  |  
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The desire to text an ex can feel like an unstoppable force, especially if you’re intoxicated. Whether liberated by liquor or emotionally needy, here are some sobering thoughts to make you put down that that phone….

If he wanted you he would have sent a text or two

You want to text him. But have you asked yourself this: Does he want to hear from you? If he wanted too, he would have texted you. Even if he didn’t think you wanted to hear from him, if he really liked you—and cared more about you than his pride—he would have texted you.

It’s Over

Subconsciously, many women don’t realize they are broken up. They think they can text a guy, trying to talk about the issues that broke them up, stirring up all the same problems. They don’t realize they don’t have the right or the privilege to do that anymore. It’s over because someone decided they didn’t care enough to fix those things. He has the right to be left alone now.

What’s the plan?

“I just want to say hi.” That’s how you convince yourself to call. And you don’t ask any further questions of yourself. A hello, and then what? A conversation, and then what? An arrangement to meet. And then what? A kiss, sex. And then what? The realization that you have to leave…that the man you used to cuddle and have breakfast with is now just someone you slept with…Force yourself to go down that mental road. Don’t lie to yourself: you know where that first step takes you. Crying, all over again and opening up a gash.

Stick to your guns

If you ended it, don’t toy with him. Think of the times you’ve been toyed with. You hate those guys. Don’t be the female version. Also, have some certitude for goodness sake. Stick to your decisions in life. Without certitude, you don’t have anything.

 

Stopbeing needy

Do you want to talk someone into wanting you? If he ended it, and you contact him, that’s exactly what you’re doing. And if you try to talk someone into loving you, it’s because you don’t love yourself.

Life is short

It all seems like the end of the world right now. All you can think about is how much you miss this one person. But, remember this: there were too many problems with him. It was hard. Life is too short to waste on people like this.

Have you had better?

Don’t think you’ll find anyone better? You probably already have. Whatever the issues were with him—whatever was hard about being with him—think back to other men you’ve dated, or even just known. There were probably some with whom, those areas of the relationship were easy. So, you know better exists. Why do you need to text him?

 

It’s disguised as medicine

You want to text your ex because it will feel good, now. Seeing his name on your phone again, like you used to many times a day, will feel good for now, but wait a little and you’ll feel ten times worse than before you sent that text. Why? Because for a moment, you let yourself buy into the lie that he was still in your life. But, the lie couldn’t last long.

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