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Trying new things with your partner – or for your partner – is part of being in a relationship. From hobbies to healthy lifestyle changes to friend groups, we let our partners introduce us to all kinds of things. But, not all “new things” are created equal. If your partner has a sexual kink that you aren’t into, doing it anyways can leave you feeling uncomfortable and even violated. Trying golden showers to make a partner happy is much different than trying Ethiopian food.
According to SWNS Digital, 36 percent of Americans have a kink or a fetish. So the chances your partner has one are pretty good. But, what are you supposed to do if you aren’t into your partner’s kink? It’s a delicate subject and one that needs to be approached with soft, silky words instead of negging and spankings. So, you don’t want to try your partner’s kink. Here’s how to handle it.
Don’t Accept Pressure
Don’t pressure yourself into doing your partner’s kink and certainly don’t accept pressure from them. If you do something in a sexual setting that you don’t want to do, then that is not consensual. And that’s a big problem. Even if you want to try and convince yourself you could like it with time, you know what you do and don’t enjoy.
Doing something you really don’t like in bed to please your partner will build resentment over time. It will also make it hard for you to relax during sex because you’ll constantly be wondering if or when your partner will request the thing you don’t like. If you know you don’t and can’t enjoy this kink, be firm and clear about that. And remember, you don’t have to like everything your partner likes – not their hobbies, their favorite TV shows or their kinks.
