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In a new relationship, you tend to be on your best behavior around your partner. This is especially true if you don’t live together. You have the freedom to choose when to be around your partner and when not to be. And if you know you’re in a bad mood, you just keep to yourself. Once you live with a partner, you can’t always protect them from your negative emotions. And if just one person is having a bad day, that energy permeates the entire household. Negativity is powerful, and even if you don’t want your shit to spill over into your partner’s cup, sometimes it just happens.
So, if you’re having a bad day, how do you stop it from ruining your partner’s day? When you’re emotionally close, it’s hard not to absorb one another’s energy. Learning how to balance the many emotions in the house is a great skill to have. Here’s what to do if you’re having a bad day and don’t want it to impact your partner.
Prepare Your Partner
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Explain to your partner that you’re having a bad day and that you won’t be the best version of yourself today. Prepare them so they know what to expect. That way, if you are cold or short with them, they might be more forgiving. They already have the context that you’re having a bad day. If they’re in a good place, they can be the bigger person in that moment and remain calm. But you need to tell them early what’s going on, so they don’t take your bad mood personally.
Find Gratitude For Your Partner
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Once you’re in that negative headspace, it can spread quickly to everything around you. You become irritable, and everything everyone does is wrong – especially your partner. To combat the urge to be irritable toward your partner, focus on gratitude. Challenge yourself to make a mental list of your partner’s attributes. Remind yourself of all the kind things they do for you. This will help when you want to snap over them doing the laundry the wrong way.
Put A Pin In Some Topics
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You know there are some topics that always cause conflict in your relationship. Planning an in-law’s visit. Talking about the utility bills. These topics are best saved for another day. Don’t have stress-inducing conversations on a day you’re already feeling stressed. If your partner brings one of these up, just say, “Is it okay if we save this for a day I’m feeling better?”
Vent To A Friend
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Vent it out to a friend. This can be especially important if your partner has just heard enough about it. When you live with your partner, they hear your woes on repeat. So they’ve heard that drama with your coworker or sibling a dozen times. They might not have the capacity to engage in it any further, and that’s when venting to another party is helpful.
Postpone The Good Stuff
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In addition to postponing tough conversations, postpone the good stuff, too. So, if your partner has great news that deserves celebrating, push that back until tomorrow. They deserve the best version of you to show up to that celebration. If you need to sit down and plan a fun trip together, wait until a better day. That should be an exciting, positive moment, and your bad day could put a cloud over it.
Focus On Your Partner’s Day Instead
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Sometimes the best way to get over your own bad day is to focus on helping somebody else. Maybe you say, “I had a bad day, so let’s talk about your day instead.” Really engage in what’s happening in your partner’s life, providing encouragement or support if they need it. Sometimes helping someone else has a way of helping us forget about our problems.
