Black women have taken to social media, claiming and stepping into the lives that they’ve always deserved. Whether the movement is wrapped in the hashtags #BlackGirlLuxury, #Softlife, or even #BlackGirlsInTech, they are making the necessary changes to enrich their lives and demonstrate that the inconveniences and obstacles that try to stand in their way cannot and will not break their soul.
With Beyonce’s early release of her new song ‘Break My Soul’ speaking directly to this movement, is it safe to say that this may be the anthem for a #HealedGirlSummer?
Now I’m not saying that the girls are turning in their #HotGirlSummer badges, but they’re, more so, showing how the two can coexist. We can slide to the brunch and toast our mimosas, and then go back home to cleanse and meditate. Much like Big Freedia’s song ‘Explode’ that is sampled in ‘Break My Soul’, they are releasing their anger, releasing their jobs, and releasing their minds and ultimately–creating the guide on how to have a #HealedGirlSummer.
Step 1: You Must Release
Without the constant motion of life, the pandemic has given us a lot of time to sit with ourselves and begin healing matters that we’ve suppressed and been forced to sit with alone. And while therapy may not be the route for everyone, journaling has provided me a space to release and self-reflect. Creator @HerBlackHand’s writing prompt journal, Finding The Beauty in My Bare Bones, and @LiveNaturallyLove’s The Soul Study Self-Love Journal are bridging the gap between self-love and mental health. These journals are tools to guide, coach, and support you as you work through learning to forgive, love, and heal in the best way that works for you.
Step Two: Address Your Work Environment
We are “looking for motivation and a new foundation” and oftentimes that can look like a career switch or a new relationship, two things that can change the trajectory of your mental health and your outlook on life.
So creators like @Seizethade are critical to this movement because she drops gems and provides feedback for Black women to not only advance in their careers but also break into tech with little to no experience.Sharing her journey has not only given me the courage to apply for the jobs that I do not feel qualified for, but it has also allowed me to look at my skills in a more constructive way that allows me to take what I know along with my passions and make them work for me.
I’m learning that anything I give my energy to must equally, if not more, benefit me.
Step Three: Who Are You Giving Your Energy To?
This same thought can be applied to the climate of our current dating culture. As a young black woman who has been told all her life not to focus on relationships, I am learning that the lesson is not to not engage but to not engage more than you engage with yourself.
Beyonce addresses this when she says, “Searchin’ for love/ Looking for something that lives inside me,” and this is where we connect the dots and everything begins to become clearer. During this time of healing, we must first learn where we are falling short within ourselves before we can address someone else’s shortcomings. We are learning that we deserve to be loved through our healing and that healing doesn’t have to be done in solitude. Once we become comfortable with that realization, it will allow us to establish better boundaries in our romantic engagements.
When navigating these spaces, it can feel like engaging in the act is permitting your soul to be broken. Connections lost after time invested, inconsistencies and deception. Though it may feel that way, it doesn’t have to. Chef and creator Courtnee Futch shared a statement that resonated with me. She said, “No amount of ‘failure’ in romantic spaces is ever going to make me feel less like love is something worth pursuing.”
“If you don’t seek it, you won’t see it.” Though putting yourself out there can be risky, the more you learn from these engagements, the closer you are to clarity about what is not wanted in this season of life. It is then that you will see things through a new lens.
Step Four: Fellowship and Community
Beyonce didn’t say “The queens in the front and the Doms in the back/Ain’t takin’ no flicks but the whole clique snapped” because she was doing things alone. This is your moment to fellowship with those that make you feel great. That makes life more liveable and urges you to want more. Grab your friends and take a shot. Take the photo with the stranger at the party. Smile so big that when you look back on the memories, you won’t care why you were so happy, just that you were.
The only way to live a true #HealedGirlSummer is to bet on yourself and bet high. Continue to do that work that feeds your soul and allows you to show up every day. Never stop reaccessing and changing your point of view, because when you do, it is then when you allow outside sources to come in and disturb the peace and space you have been creating for yourself.
So let your hair down and lose your mind, as Beyonce says, and play this song to remind you that your soul cannot be broken