Forget Trick-or-Treat. It’s gray sweatpants season, and MADAMENOIRE‘s prediction is the hot ticket item will be flying off retail shelves STAT. Black men have been put on alert, but they themselves clearly know what time it is. They understand that gray sweatpants rank high in whip appeal like smelling good, sporting a well-tailored suit, a service uniform and rocking a salt and pepper beard. Grey sweatpants are a commodity that can transform a regular, smegular, degular dude into man crush–anyday of the week–on sight. Ninjas know grey sweatpants have superpowers.
All Shades Of Gray Are Not Created Equal
According to Color Psychology, the color gray is associated with practicality, being down to earth, calming, focused and responsible. Blue, Black, or Brown sweatpants won’t cut it. All that’s cool, but various shades of gray won’t work, either–not Heather gray, not graphite, slate, pewter, ash or shadow gray. Just gray. That’s it. Gray. The fabric has to come correct, too. Simple sweat material will do–not polyester, not rayon.
What That Johnson Do?
Grey sweatpants reign supreme over denim, warm-up pants, khakis, slacks and the likes. They are virtually male lingerie in the minds of women. It’s about the movement and the d**k print. It’s like men are prancing around in boxers or crotch-hugging speedos or nothing. Weight, length and girth can be measured in a strut, turn or quick glance. We see it coming near from afar—we know what it do.
It Ain’t All About The D
A thigh print is worth its weight in Black gold. It’s an ode and testament of what that thighs do. Gray sweatpants facilitates the thought process and imagination around this as well. The saying about thick thighs saving lives rings true and applies to men, too. Guess what comes with the right set of thigh meat?: strength, stamina, and ahem–endurance with positions perhaps.
Ease Of Access
Men wearing gray sweatpants are the equivalent to women wearing dresses and skirts–well, maybe not exactly, but definitely when it comes to going commando–that is. There’s a benefit of health and freedom and access that comes with wearing clothes with no drawers. For one, the privates are able to air out and breath. Secondly, the privates don’t have to be cooped up in skinny jeans, they can unfurl, swing low and relax. Third, it can be whipped out to get in a lil’ quickie business if need be.