Source: Dave Kotinsky / Getty
Shit got real, on the latest episode of Peace of Mind with Taraji, on the topic of “Why Do Women Stay In Hurtful Relationships?” Reality TV personality Angela Simmons opened up about why she stayed in an abusive relationship as long she did and why it’s important those in abusive relationships get out while they can.
Despite describing the romance as a “great relationship at first,” Simmons shared that she wasn’t aware that her ex’s temper was a warning sign of the abuse she’d face in that relationship later down the line.
“I didn’t fully see it until it was too late, you know?” Simmons said. “Like once you’re knee-deep in a relationship and you’re like, is this really my life? And then every time there’s a sorry, I don’t know how you wind up staying. Like, you just, you think they’re really sorry. Or it’s not gonna happen again.”
RELATED CONTENT: “10 Actions People Say Are Normal But Are Actually Abusive”
Simmons noted that at times, she’s felt like “Miss You Want to Fix Everything,” that she thought she’d be the one to help her ex control his temper or the two could’ve fixed things with therapy.
“A lot of it was mental, but then when I started seeing bruises and stuff, I was like, okay, this is actually real,” Simmons shared.
“It shook me up. Like I felt horrible after it all, you know what I mean? Like I feel broken. You know, maybe it’s me,” the 34-year-old said. “And that is the hardest part in a relationship. Like when you feel like you’re the reason, like how could I make someone so upset that they’re gonna treat me like that?”
“It’s like a cycle over and over until hopefully you get the strength to leave, cause some people don’t,” Simmons noted later in the episode. “And that is to me why this conversation is so important because I was there, like I was stuck. I was like, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I get out of this? But it’s love, but I want to stay, you know, like every reason to stay, I stayed.”
RELATED CONTENT: “FKA Twigs Explains Why She’s No Longer Answering The Question ‘Why Didn’t You Leave?’ After Abusive Relationship With Shia LaBeouf”
Thankfully, the star highlighted that therapy has been a major aspect of her ongoing healing journey.
“…for me, I think because I was in therapy, I was able to pull myself out [of the relationship], to be honest with you. Without the therapist, I might’ve just stayed in the cycle,” Simmons explained.
“I think therapy is super important, I really started doing therapy when I lost my son’s father,” she continued. “I didn’t even want to live after that. I was like, I don’t know why I’m even here. Like why would God give me something like that?… What do you tell a four-year-old?”
Simmons first opened up about the abusive relationship she was previously in during an interview back in 2019. Since then, she’s continued to advocate for survivors of domestic violence and even started the organization Pressure Makes Diamonds under her nonprofit Angela’s Angels, which aims to help young women avoid falling into abusive relationships by building their self-confidence and self-worth.
As highlighted in the episode, Black women experience domestic violence 30% – 50% more than their white counterparts. While discussing why the disparity is so prominent, Dr. Lena Green explained in Monday’s episode:
“So when we think about domestic violence, we want to think about the things that disproportionately impact Black people and other people of color… so that means that domestic violence is not exempt from that, right? And so the rates are going to be higher because we have people who are with higher levels of poverty, of violence in the community. Things like food insecurity. Access to education, access to resources. Those are always going to disproportionately impact Black communities.”
In the same episode, Taraji shared that due to a past abusive relationship she is “missing” a piece of her lip to this day, MADAMENOIRE reported.
RELATED CONTENT: “I Once Was Blind: When Intimate Partner Violence Happens To Those We Love”
