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2020 Soul Train Awards - Presented By BET - Show

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In a recent Instagram Live chat with fans, singer Monica opened up about trying to deal with very real personal issues while simultaneously trying to have a successful music career. The 40-year-old star has been through many turbulent situations, which she’s been open about. Most recently, she went through a publicized divorce with Shannon Brown after eight years of marriage. During the Live, she talked about how when such unforeseen life-changing events would occur, she would need to take a step back from working on her music to work on herself and care for her family. That hasn’t always been accepted by fans in a career spanning more than 25 years. She hasn’t released a new album since 2015’s Code Red. 

“I’ve always bared my soul and was transparent, which I catch a lot of flack for, all the time. But I’m still cool with it because if I don’t do nothin’ else, I’m going to be me,” she said. “To the death of me, I’m going to be me.”

“Don’t think one red coin, one award, none of this stuff around me or amongst me keeps me at peace, “she added. “None of it holds me at night. None of it dries my tears. None of it. So sometimes when I tap out I apologize y’all, but I tap out because I’m human.”

While she asked for grace from her supporters, she also made clear that she is going to continue to go about her career, and most importantly, her life, her own way. It’s not conventional according to Monica, who says many of her counterparts have given up a lot to be successful, and not just in regards to time and energy. But she has no regrets.

“Yeah, see people spend a lot of time putting on in this forum. Listen, I would have been a much bigger star, a much wealthier woman, had I put on for you. That was a choice, a decision that I made. A lot of the stuff that you haven’t seen me do, is not because it wasn’t offered. It was because I made the choice not to,” she said. “I got all the calls, but I knew what people were sacrificing to do what they were doing. I didn’t want to sacrifice that.”

“You’ll be surprised what people gave up to get to the top. But I been watching it all my life and it is a choice for me to be able to do what I do with sound mind,” she added. “With a solid family. I move how I move and I face a lot of criticism for it. I face so much criticism for it, it has actually become comical. Because I’m a real human being. To gain the world and lose your soul is not something I’m okay with. That’s a level of sacrifice I refuse to partake in. I mean, I refuse.”

While she may not be a megastar, Monica has done well for herself since starting in 1993. She is a Grammy Award winner and most recently was awarded the Soul Train Lady of Soul Award for her career accomplishments. She has all that, including dedicated fans, while being a doting mother and woman of faith. She certainly is a success.

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