Today, Taraji P. Henson appeared on “The Breakfast Club,” to speak about an issue to which she’s been lending her voice for years now: mental health.
It just so happens that Breakfast Club host, Charlamagne Tha God, given his history with anxiety, is also passionate about raising awareness for mental health issues within the Black community.
During their conversation, he asked Henson, “How in the hell do y’all deal with us trauma-filled men? And how do sisters create a space for us to be vulnerable?”
Taraji responded with candor about former NFLer Kelvin Hayden.
Speaking about relationships in general, Taraji said,
“The perfect lie is perfection. And through my therapy and tapping into my trauma, a lot of times, it’s misunderstanding. So if you go into it, knowing that no one is perfect, with an understanding of trying to build a foundation of trust, where we can both be our vulnerable selves where we don’t have to send our representatives because I trust if I fall, you gon catch me. Those are things you build but you can only build them if you are actively dealing with your trauma.”
Then she spoke about her relationship with Hayden specifically.
“And I’m dedicated to the Black man, y’all. “I just turned 50 and you know, I haven’t said it yet, but it didn’t work out. And I tried. I said therapy. Let’s do the therapy thing. But if you’re both not on the same page with that, then you feel like you’re taking it on yourself. and that’s not fair position for anybody to play in a relationship. My happiness is not his responsibility and neither is his mine. We have to first learn how to make ourselves happy. So when one person is taking on the weight of the entire relationship, it’s never going to work. And yes, you have to be understanding but you can’t lose yourself in that understanding. You have to still stand up for yourself and be there for yourself. And that’s hard to do if the other person isn’t doing their part either. That’s why relationships are so difficult. They’re difficult.”
When Charlamagne tried to get Henson to delve deeper into the breakup, she backed out.
“What you not gon do is have my day filled with bloggers. It’s nobody’s business what’s going on in my personal life. All I’m saying is, relationships take work and it takes both sides to really be there. It’s selfless. Sometimes you can’t sit on it. You can’t take it to him. You have to take it to your therapist and work it out first.”
Taraji said that if one party is committed to healing and the other is not, the relationship won’t work.
“It’s not ever going to work. Because what’s going to happen is you’re going to find yourself growing, right? And that person isn’t because they’re not doing the work. So naturally, you’re going to grow apart.”
For over a month now, there’s been speculation that the couple had split.
The couple, who had previously been expressive about their relationship on social media, were both noticeably quiet.
Then for Henson’s 50th birthday celebration in Mexico, there were more than a few photos that showed her without her engagement ring.
Folks noted that Hayden didn’t wish Henson a happy birthday—at least on Instagram—and that appeared to be a telltale sign.
Henson and Hayden went public with their relationship in 2017 after dating for two years. He proposed on Mother’s Day weekend in 2018.
Wishing Taraji the best.
You can watch her full interview in the video below. Taraji’s comments about Hayden begin around the 15:45 mark.