How To Stop Being A Mommy Martyr

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Mommy Martyr

Source: JGI/Jamie Grill / Getty

A mother’s job is truly never finished, but somewhere along the way many of us get things twisted and begin to adopt the mindset that caring for our families means that we neglect ourselves. We deny ourselves rest, downtime, pampering, and so many other things in the name of putting our families first and then we turn around and expect others to feel sorry for us.

Pretty soon, we grow comfortable with this self-neglect, self-pity, and constant complaining. It literally becomes a part of our personalities and daily conversations as we fall victim to mommy martyrdom. As Today’s Parent explains, the mommy martyr “goes the extra mile, but she doesn’t go quietly. You’re gonna hear about every painful step. Maybe she boasts or maybe she complains. Maybe she sighs, “It’s OK, I’ll just do it.” She has ways of broadcasting her suffering without saying anything at all. If you still have trouble identifying her, she probably looks like crap, too.”

Choosing to become a mother does not mean that you signed up for a life of suffering and misery. Further, choosing to remain on this burned out path of self-denial and constant complaining doesn’t make you a good mother. It only serves to make you unhappy and resentful of your spouse and children. If you’re tired of grumbling under your breath as you wash dishes while overhearing your partner and kids have a good time in the next room, keep reading.

Let the kid cry sometimes

I am by no means proponent of sitting back and allowing babies to cry in order to make their lungs strong or not responding to children when they are upset. However, as a parent, I quickly caught on to the fact that kids, especially the little ones, cry for all sorts of reasons and for no reason at all. And there are definitely moments where it is completely unreasonable to drop everything simply because your baby is fussing. Prime example, if you are in the middle of using the restroom and you can clearly see via a baby monitor or otherwise that the baby is safe and not in harm’s way, please finish doing your business before going to get him, sis. He will be alright, I promise.

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