Source: Adam Marasco / EyeEm / Getty
Roleplay is a very interesting fetish. It doesn’t actually involve any specific physical action. It’s not like when someone likes to be spanked, or use a ball gag, or try backdoor stuff. Roleplay is all about mental stimulation – perhaps also emotional stimulation. I’ve known a couple guys who wanted to role-play. To be honest, my initial reaction wasn’t great. I just felt like, “Well, am I not good enough?” I didn’t understand why they needed to pretend that I was someone else, in order to be aroused. Then again, to be fair, they were also going to pretend to be someone else. And then I just wondered if they weren’t comfortable in their own skin. I have one friend who exclusively does role play with his girlfriend. That’s the only way they have sex. If they’re both into roleplay, I say, go for it, but of course, I worry that if that’s the only way they’re ever intimate then, will they perhaps become afraid of having sex as…just themselves? I think role play should be a fun occasional thing, rather than, say, an escape from something you’re afraid of – like being yourself. These are all just thoughts. Roleplay can exist in a lot of forms and for a lot of reasons in someone’s life. So if you’ve been wondering if it’s normal that your partner likes to do it a lot, the answer is probably nuanced.
You should be yourselves sometimes
Roleplay can have its place in a relationship, but you should feel comfortable just being yourselves sometimes, too. If you only role play, then you never have sex as yourselves, meaning you never have the intimate physical experience of sex while in your own mindsets – in the character of you. And that’s an important part of feeling close to someone, even outside of the bedroom.
