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This isn’t true for everyone, of course, but many women tend to tie their sense of self-worth to a good balance of personal and professional achievements. Their identity and self-esteem are connected to their friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, and careers. Men, on the other hand, tend to tie their sense of self-worth tightly to their jobs, and, furthermore, their wealth. It’s why career setbacks can send them spiraling out of control for weeks, while women can usually get back on track after sharing a bottle of wine and a good chat with a friend. It’s just harder for men to feel that their careers and their money aren’t where they want them to be.
If your partner’s finances aren’t what he wants them to be, you may find yourself having to walk on some eggshells. There’s basically only one thing that feels worse for a man than being in a bad financial situation, and that’s having a romantic partner around to see it. Men want to be providers for their partners, should they have partners. They don’t want to be a charity case. They don’t want to feel like your project. They don’t want you worrying about them: they want to be the one looking after you.
Whether he’s lost his job, taken a salary cut, had an investment not work out, or has a business that’s slow to pick up, if your partner isn’t satisfied with his money matters right now, he’ll be sensitive. It’s important to be aware of that, because accidentally hurting his ego can cause a huge fight. You probably mean well, but the mind of a financially-challenged man is complicated. Here are things that can hurt a man’s financial pride.
Bringing it up in front of others
Never, ever bring up his financial situation in front of others. If you’re hanging out with another couple who says something like, “We should all go on a cruise together this summer!” Do not say something to the effect of, “My partner can’t afford that right now,” or “That’ll be tough right now since my partner isn’t making much money.” He does not want outsiders to know he’s struggling.
