How To Wipe When Toilet Paper Is Running Low

Source: Harrison Eastwood / Getty

I’ve now tried eight stores for toilet paper and come up with nothing. Fortunately, at least where I live, other shelves seem to be stocked. The expected items are missing like hand sanitizer and paper towels, but the food is there. It’s just the toilet paper that stores cannot keep up with. There is far more demand than there is supply. And if you’re wondering if that’s true, this post explains a bit about why it is. But to give you the gist of the matter, there may not be enough factory workers to package and create the product or enough drivers to get it to stores to keep up with the current rate of purchases.

At first I thought it was hilarious that people were so worried about wiping their bums. Having just bought at 12-pack of the stuff myself (and the good, multi-ply stuff, might I add) when the store raids began, I thought, “I’ll be good. This will get me through the craziness.” Boy was I wrong. I’m staring down four rolls and a recent announcement that, in 45 days, we may see coronavirus cases double in the US. When I saw that I thought, “Grrr…I wish they would’ve held off on that announcement at least until I found more toilet paper!” Not to be selfish, but I know that new information will only encourage more of the panic buying that’s been going on.

So, I’ve decided to be resourceful and resilient, and remember that there are many ways to stay clean down south that don’t rely on toilet paper. All you need is something absorbent. Or something with some spraying action. Humans got by without toilet paper for centuries before us and I’ll be damned if we can’t do it again (just hopefully not for long). Here are ways to wipe if you’re low on toilet paper.

Source: Photo by Ali Majdfar, All rights reserved / Getty

Use a bidet

Europeans have had it right all along. I remember first visiting a hotel in Europe with my family and finding what looked like a second toilet—just slightly different—next to the regular toilet. “It’s a bidet!” my European mom explained. “You use it to clean your tushie!” she urged. Well, now you can just buy simple attachments you stick inside your existing toilet bowl, and you have a power wash for your privates. No paper needed.