I’ve been thinking a lot lately about nature versus nurture, and which of my habits, behaviors, thinking patterns, and, really, circumstances, are effects of my childhood—specifically of my parents parenting styles—and which were just…happenstance, or, rather something that developed long after my parents were done influencing me. There are many reasons I’ve been thinking of this. One of those reasons is that, I’ve grown very distant from a childhood friend—someone with whom I was once so close—and I’ve been trying to figure out why. I mean, I know why. She’s exhibited some behaviors that I’m just not down with. She’s become sort of elitist, superficial, and is dabbling in cheating on her husband. She’s going down a road on which I don’t want to join her. But why? Why did she turn out that way, while I turned out this way? The more I think about it, the more I realize it could be because we had very different parents.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about this subject because I’m at a pivotal point in my own career. I’ve been having to reach deep within myself for strength that I’m not sure is there—sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t—in order to keep going and keep believing in myself. And I recently read an amazing book called “Grit” by “Angela Duckworth (read it, like, yesterday) that discusses many studies that prove our ability to find that inner strength in the 11th hour has a lot to do with our upbringing. So I’ve been chewing on the subject, and researching it a bit. If you are a parent or plan on being one, you’d probably like to parent in a way that leads to a resilient, persistent, and patient child, right? Well then you should know about these parenting habits that produce patient and persistent kids…as well as those that don’t.
Blaming the teacher for their bad grade
I know a few people from my childhood whose parents would march onto campus, demanding an explanation any time their child got a bad grade. They were certain their child was perfect, and that the teacher had just failed to see it. That is not exactly healthy for a kid to witness—the idea that they are perfect, don’t need to improve, and should just force others to see their genius. Even more so, you insinuate that the expert in this matter—the teacher—knows less than the amateur.