The truth is that my current relationship shares many things in common with previous relationships. And that’s to be expected since, there are traits that we know we like—that we know work for us—so it’s no surprise that many of our exes may have some personality overlap. You change, grow, and evolve, of course, but there are some things about you that remain the same, so there will be characteristics you seek out in every partner—even the ones things don’t work out with. But one thing that I can say drastically sticks out to me about my current relationship (and we’ve been together seven years so, I think this one will stick) is that we laugh so much.
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as I do with my boyfriend on a regular basis. I shared some laughs with exes, but looking back, we didn’t laugh together very often. I can’t believe I didn’t pick up on that then, nor did I realize that…that’s not good! It’s like I saw my exes as part of designated boxes, like for sex, intimacy, and seriousness, and my friends for…fun. But shouldn’t your life partner check the fun box, too?
My partner and I laugh more than we do anything else. We can also go deep, and talk about difficult subjects. We can cry in front of each other. We can be angry. We can be somber. But, more than anything, we laugh a lot together. I think it’s because we aim to laugh a lot. It’s the theme of our relationship. I don’t think I’m just lucky that I laugh with my partner so much: I think it’s a critical part of a successful relationship. Here’s why laughter is the most important thing in a relationship.
Nothing is that big of a deal
The truth is that nothing that happens in life is that big of a deal. It isn’t. When all is said and done, there will be maybe a handful of things that happen in your lifetime that are that momentous or that serious. Everything else—like traffic and rent increases and disputes with coworkers—are nothing. If you laugh together at these things, you remind yourselves that most things aren’t worth getting worked up over.