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If you’re still getting over the phase of playing games, or outgrowing the age of playing it safe, trying to maintain mystery, trying to “win” at relationships, and not really looking for a true connection, somebody who just puts it all out there can really catch you off guard. I know it took me a while to get accustomed to men who didn’t play games (and yes, those are men, and the ones who d*ck around are boys). For so long, I was used to guys who strung me along, sent me mixed signals, ghosted me, came back, offered no explanation, and accused me of “acting crazy” for just wondering where the hell they’d been for a couple of months.
Yup, my standards were pretty low. But, honestly, I think a part of growing up, learning to love yourself, and learning to know what you want/need out of a partner involves those crappy years of sub-par, pseudo relationships. When we don’t yet respect ourselves, we don’t date people who respect us. But when we don’t even know what it means to respect ourselves, we really don’t think it’s abnormal for boys to behave in the way I just described.
I definitely ran away from the first few men who were just open, honest, and (dare I say it) caring with me. They just told me how they were feeling and what they wanted and that freaked me out. If you have found yourself involved with a new guy who is disarmingly but also somehow alarmingly candid, and your instinct tells you he’s clingy/needy/too much, just hang on. You may be experiencing the learning curve that comes from graduating from game-playing boys to upfront men. Don’t run from the guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. You’ll regret it.
Showing affection isn’t needy
You can have this misconception that when a man shows affection and just lets it be known that he likes you, he’s needy. That’s what the boys who played games led you to believe. But, showing affection isn’t needy. How is a couple supposed to get off the ground if they don’t just say I like you let’s try this? If no relationship of yours ever really has gotten off the ground, it may be time to try this new approach.
