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sexual chemistry and compatibility

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Discovering who someone is in bed is always a funny thing. Sometimes, somebody is just what you’d expect—the personality under the sheets is quite similar to that in the streets. The humorous man is playful. The powerful, ambitious man is domineering. The sweet man is gentle. But then, sometimes, a guy can surprise you and bring a completely different persona to the bedroom than what you know of him the rest of the time. That can be especially confusing and frustrating when you find that a guy is just closed off in bed. In conversation, he wears his heart on his sleeve. In bed, you’d swear he’d keep his sleeves on if he could—heck you think he’d prefer keeping his full suit on. He’s just that…reserved.

Luckily, I’m not with any such individual today, but I dealt with it once. When you really like someone, it can be tough if the sexual chemistry isn’t there. But it’s even tougher if part of the problem is that this person will not talk about it. What’s it all about? A devoutly catholic upbringing? Some odd notions about how talking to your partner, about sex, robs a man of his masculinity? I don’t know. I never really quite found out because he wouldn’t talk about our bedroom problems in or outside of the bedroom. He’d become angry when I brought them up.

Now, looking back, it was funny. It is funny. I hope that poor guy figured out his issues, because I can’t imagine any woman was going to be content leading a sex life the way he wanted to. And, to be frank, he didn’t want that—there were just some fears or issues holding him back. I hope he got over those. Here’s a look at the hilarious experience of dating a man who is closed off in bed.


Missionary all the time

It was all missionary, all the time. At first, you think it’s sweet—like, “Oh, how nice, he wants to look me in the eyes.” But eventually, that’s just too much eye contact all of the time. Plus, missionary doesn’t hit the right angles for me. Does it for anybody? No matter how we’d be positioned during foreplay, he would very methodically and officially get into missionary when it was time for sex.

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