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friends with ex spouse

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Friends with exes. Whether it’s you who is friends with an ex while he’s in a relationship, or while you’re in a relationship, or your partner is friends with an ex, and that ex is or isn’t in a relationship, it’s always a complicated matter. Generally speaking, when we hear anyone talk about being friends with an ex we think, “Bad idea.” Which, for the record, I totally understand.


I know too many people who are friends with their exes and they’re not really friends with their exes so much as they keep their exes in the picture to have someone to flirt with/get attention from/sleep with in between other relationships. A lot of times, if the ex is in the picture, he’s just a safety blanket the person clings to when other things don’t work out. Or, he’s even around in case the two want to give it another shot (usually not the best idea). Even though being friends with one’s ex seems like it goes against everything that is natural and good in this world, there are rare occasions when it’s okay. In fact, there are times when, if someone doesn’t have some base level of friendship with his ex, I have concerns.


If a man is divorced, but was with his ex wife for a very long time and/or had children with his ex, he probably should have some sort of friendship there. Of course, if you’re dating that man, you may not love that dynamic. But, if you are getting serious with a divorced man who is friends with his ex wife, let me put it this way: him having a friendly relationship with his ex spouse is a much better sign than him having nothing to do with her. Here’s why your man should be friends with his ex wife.

friends with ex spouse

Source: Peter Dazeley / Getty

He once vowed “’Til death do us part”

There was a time when he cared so deeply about this person that he made vows to be there for her through sickness and in health and until death did them part. While he may have fallen out of love with her, something’s wrong with somebody who can go from taking such vows to literally not caring what happens to that very person to whom they made those vows. If he has any human decency, he’ll still care about what happens to his ex.

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