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“The Den Mother”—that’s what my boyfriend calls me within my friend group. He says that because I somehow, without even trying, became a major support system for several of my friends. And I’m glad to be one! Look, I’m no therapist and I wouldn’t claim to be. They go through extensive (and expensive) schooling to earn that title. But I’ve been through many tough experiences that women often face, and I believe I’ve come out of them stronger. I had a terrible eating disorder for years. My dad had a secret second family and that threw our entire family into a turbulent state for a long time. I was in a deeply toxic and emotionally abusive relationship once.
These scenarios may all sound extreme, but honestly, it’s pretty common for a woman to experience some degree of at least one if not all of those issues in her life. Getting into a relationship with a bad dude? Who hasn’t done that? Struggling with body image stuff and taking matters into your own hands in an unhealthy way? I think almost any woman out there can say that at one time or another, she did that. Having some serious drama come up in the family that shook everyone to the core? It’s pretty common. It’s not always a secret second family situation but there could be a gambling issue, alcoholism, infidelity, long-lost siblings…Sh*t happens in families.
My point is that, I know many women who are just now going through many of these things for the first time. They’re scared. They feel like they’re in the dark and will never see the light again. I know that isn’t true because I’ve been where they are. I can’t stand back and do nothing when I notice a woman struggling with something I’ve been through. I feel compelled to try to help. I think every woman out there should share her wisdom, in these ways, when she can.
To fight back against society
Society may have made us feel deeply insecure about our bodies and put a tremendous amount of pressure on us, but I’m not going to let it win. If there are women I can help—just be a support for or a buddy to call—who are going through body issues, I will be because I’m not going to let society just pluck us off, one by one, killing our self-esteem.
