There are some things in life that you and your partner just may not agree on. Some may even be political matters, which can be uncomfortable. But the most uncomfortable thing to disagree on is a woman’s right to choose what to do in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. This becomes a particularly delicate subject when it’s your own partner—the one you have sex with—who disagrees with you.
If you’re pro-choice and you meet someone you don’t know too well who is pro-life, you probably know just what you’d say to him. You have your points prepared. You are ready to debate it, all day long. But what happens when you learn, several years into a relationship with someone you love very much that he’s pro-life? First off, it’s one of those humbling moments when you realize, “Oh, I guess I can actually like people with different political views from mine—I literally love one.” That’s what happened to me.
I felt a bit silly when I learned this about my partner because, for so long, I felt certain I could never possibly get along with someone who held those views. It’s as if I’d been tricked. All along, I’d been living with and loving a pro-life individual, right under my roof, and…he’s a wonderful person. Whoops. There go my close-minded views on those with opposing political views from mine. Once the dust settled on that realization, a far more daunting one came up: oh so if we got accidentally pregnant, we’d have a problem on our hands. I take every precaution for that not to happen, but it was always in the back of my mind that if something went wrong, I could have an abortion. Now I know, that may not be so simple. Here’s what it’s like discovering your partner is pro life.
You try not to judge
You have to fight every instinct you have to judge your partner. You’ve had such firmly held views on people who are pro-life. You’ve always imagined them to be…well, a lot of not-nice things. Now your brain is telling you that your partner who you’ve loved for years is those not-nice things. Your brain sort of short circuits because it cannot make sense of the fact that this wonderful person is part of this group that you’ve always been certain is not wonderful.