When Parents Who Gave Up On Their Dreams Project On You
Belittling the time demands
If your parent had to tell herself, at one point in her life, that going after her dreams wasn’t worth it—that things like family time or social obligations should take precedent—then she has that mindset for everyone else, too. That includes you. So when, for example, she asks when you’ll be up for Thanksgiving, and you say the day before—that you can’t come up earlier because you have an exciting opportunity two days before—she won’t get excited for you. She’ll just talk about your dreams as something that get in the way of “real life” (she may use those words). She may ask if you can move your thing, so you can visit earlier. As if your dreams are, like, a hair appointment.