How To Tell Your Dude Isn’t Father Material

September 9, 2019  |  
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They say you never truly know a person until you have kids with them. This is true to an extent. Raising a child with someone does reveal different sides of them — both good and bad. However, most men who are considered “bad fathers” began showing those signs well before conception. If your desire is to have children someday and you’re wondering if your current beau is fit for the job, continue reading these tell-tale signs that a man is not exactly father material.

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He’s selfish

Effective parenting requires immense sacrifice. If your guy is the self-centered type, he may not be father material. It’s extremely frustrating trying to raise a child with a person who does not comprehend that their needs and wants will sometimes have to take a backseat because they have children.

Man showing 'I'm Sorry' sign to angry girlfriend

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He’s impulsive

Impulsive people often make rash decisions without thinking about how their actions will affect the people in their lives. This behavior is highly problematic for families as children need to be able to rely on both adults to be stable and rational.

Man Standing Against Wall

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He’s lazy

Child-rearing requires an immense amount of work. Whoever said that it takes a village was not kidding. Raising a child with a lazy partner will make you bitter and resentful because you’ll be the one who has to make up for their slack. Parenting is tiring enough when both parties are fully invested.

man in black carrying bags, legs only

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He makes poor financial choices

Babies are expensive and the price tag only increases as they grow. Reproducing with a man who is financially irresponsible is a guaranteed recipe for heartache and stress.

Portrait of young angry man, studio shot

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He has a short fuse

Patience is a virtue that is paramount when it comes to effective parenting. There will most definitely be frustrating moments and you’ll want to raise a child with someone who is capable of managing their frustrations in a healthy way.

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He’s rigid

In life, not everything goes as planned — especially when you’re raising kids. You’ll want a partner who is willing to be flexible and won’t blow a gasket when plans go awry.

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He’s irresponsible

Every child deserves two parents they can count on. As a mother, it’s heartbreaking to see your child disappointed.  Don’t set your future children up for constant let-downs because you chose to start a family with an unreliable man.

African American man eating pizza on city street

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He’s Childish

Trying to raise a child with an adult who acts like one is completely exhausting. Do yourself a favor and leave that man-child where he’s at.

Portrait tough African American man gesturing with fists against black background

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He’s spiteful

Part of raising an emotionally healthy child and being a great parenting partner is being a parent who is slow to anger and quick to forgive. If you’re noticing that your dude is vindictive with an insatiable appetite for revenge, he is not the best person with whom to raise a child. Children make mistakes, do your unborns a favor by giving them a father who has grace.

Serene young man meditating with headphones in bedroom

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His patterns show that he can’t hold down a job

All kids need love, but love is not what puts food in their stomachs or clothes on their backs. If your guy’s employment situation has been inconsistent for an extended period of time or he’s demonstrated behaviors that suggest he’s not a fan of hard work, he’s probably not the one you want to be having children with.

Studio shot of African man wearing camouflage

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He doesn’t take care of the children he already has

This should go without saying. If he’s not taking care of hers, there’s a nine out of ten chance that he’ll leave yours high and dry as well.

Portrait of a young african american man

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He doesn’t want kids

There’s no greater rejection than the rejection of a parent who doesn’t want their child. Spare your future kids the heartache and avoid rolling the reproductive dice with a dude that has made it clear that he does not want children.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @jazminedenise and visit her blog, Black Girl Mom

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