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31 days of sensuality day 18-24

Source: iOne Digital

Porn is overrated. There’s horrible lighting ( either too dark or too much light), bad acting and fake orgasms and patriarchy runs rampant on screen and behind the scenes.  But we all watch it – don’t act like you don’t! I too am a voyeur who consumes porn to get my rocks off. I used to watch it as a form of sex education to learn what to do in the bedroom because, nobody else was teaching it to me. And come to find out, most people consume it for the same reasons. Lately, porn hasn’t been hitting it for me. It’s performative, robotic and it feels dirty. Porn has skewed our societies perspectives on sex – turning sex into smut. 

So here’s the difference – porn is for masturbation. Sex is for connection. 

 For me, porn is missing the intimacy factor, the sensuality factor and it lacks the real world aspect of what sex is – the connection of two bodies and souls for pleasure.  Real Sex is funny, silly, messy, intimate and beautiful part of the human experience. For example, have you ever fell off the couch during sex? Or you were on top riding and your knees start hurting so you have to re-adjust? This type of sex is  empathetic, relatable and real. 

This is the type of “porn” that Cindy Gallop is creating via Make Love Not Porn.

Photography by: Liz Nicholls

Make Love Not Porn is a user generated sex video sharing platform made to spark a social sexual revolution. Yes, my friends- you and your lover can upload your sexual escapades to the website and share it with the world.  Sex is something we all do, a lot, but talk about the least and Cindy is here to change that! Cindy’s  mission is to create an open, healthy honest and truthful conversation about sex in the real world. This is important because the average age a person is first exposed to online porn is 8 years old. So, young people are framing their narratives around sexuality by watching the hardcore smut that comes on porn hub and other social sites. This is a conversation that we all need to have. 

With a background in brand building, marketing and advertising, Cindy Gallop brings a business aspect to the Sex Tech industry. Make Love Not Porn is about Pro Sex. Pro Porn. Pro knowing the difference. Talk about sex in the public domain and talk about it. Her intention is to fight against industry that single handily distorted the way our generation of young men and women think about sex. 

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An Evening with Cindy Gallop & Jamilah Lemieux Photography by:Liz Nicholls

I  attended,  “An Evening w/ Cindy Gallop + Jamilah Lemieux” at the home of Cindy Gallop presented by @GeenieBox. The GeenieBox team set up an intimate and fun soiree for supporters of our their crowdfunding campaign in which we had the honor of having a conversation with Cindy and Jamilah. In case you were wondering, Cindy’s home is a pleasure playground! Together, we discussed everything from porn, fun sex and how to bring your sexuality to your work life. The heart of the conversation  started when Jamilah mentioned, “ my deepest desire is that women w(Cis & Trans) have autonomy in their sex lives.” Her statement was profound! Every woman in the room said a silent, “ YES” because we all felt what she meant at the deepest level. Women, regular women like you and I need to be apart of the open dialogue about what sex and pleasure can and should be. We get to create opportunities to instruct men and ourselves on how to do so for empowerment.

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Photography by: Liz Nicholls

Think about all the magazines you’ve picked up since you were a teenager that provided you with tips and tricks for making him feel good.  And years later, you find yourself being an expert at making him moan- but he doesn’t even know how to stroke your clit. There is no balance to how sex is projected, consumed and experienced. This is a direct product of the politics of sex that has created the adult industry we see today. Therefore, this is the type of social behavior that women like Jamilah, Cindy, myself and even publishing houses like Madame Noire are trying to dismantle. This conversation was a gentle reminder for me to finish this 31 Days of Sensuality Challenge strong! Ladies, I invite you to continue to explore your sexuality! Share your findings with your friends, communicate your desires with your partner and edcuate your children about healthy sex and love making. 

Learn more about Cindy Gallop’s Make Love Not Porn at www.makelovenotporn.tv

In case you’ve been hiding under a rock, Jamilah Lemieux is an Award Winning Journalist who is at the forefront of the black millennial voice around issues of race, gender and sexuality. Follow her at https://www.jamilahlemieux.com/

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GeenieBox

Geenie is the self development platform empowering today’s ambitious Black woman. Learn more about their first product – GeenieBox. GeenieBox is a monthly round-up of an iconic woman’s favorite things – from the motivational book that fueled a career leap, the leave-in conditioner that beats back humidity to the beautiful hand-painted art on her desk. Learn more at www.geeniebox.com 

Love, 

Empress

 

 

 

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