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After you’ve been with someone for years and years, you probably won’t have sex as often as you did when you first started dating. That’s only natural. It has nothing to do with loving one another less or even being less attracted to each other. In fact, you should focus less on why you have little sex later, and more on why you have so much in the beginning. That drive to do it all of the time in the beginning is an important part of your chemical bonding. It’s nice to think it’s just because you’ve found your soul mate but, call it what you may, it’s just biology. You’re exchanging and mass-producing the hormones that make you feel close to each other. That’s centuries of genetic programming making you feel attached to him, and making him feel protective of you. So, once you realize that that is what is at play with all of that sex in the early days of dating, you can see how, once you know you belong to each other and feel stable in the commitment, the need to do it a lot dies off. Some couples try to force the issue and overcome this change. In fact, my partner and I were one of them. But we eventually embraced the beauty in having less sex. It’s actually good for us.
We need to be in the mood to enjoy it
Like we’ve already discussed, the longer you’re with someone, the less those “must have sex!” hormones are flowing. We simply aren’t in the mood as often, and, if we aren’t in the mood, and have sex, then that means we are sort of forcing it.
