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open marriage advice

Source: Charday Penn / Getty

I’ll admit that even I was a little shaken when my friend told me that she and her husband were in an open marriage. She could tell that I was, which is why she said, “Please don’t get weird about this the way everybody else has.” I’ve known this friend for over a decade, and always seen eye to eye with her on most things. We share many common values, and love each other a lot. So, I took her plea to not act weird seriously. If I’ve always understood and accepted her choices until now, I shouldn’t let this one thing change the way I see her. In fact, after listening to how others had reacted to her open marriage, I especially wanted to be a support to her. My friend explained how being the only couple in the friend group who is in an open marriage can actually be quite ostracizing, and that people can react in some odd ways.

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Everyone thinks they want to swing

Many of my friend’s couples friends immediately believed she and her husband wanted to swing with them. They’d get weird about invitations for dinner, trying to rope in other couples who weren’t invited, much the way a single woman invites a friend on a date so it isn’t a date.

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