Here’s A Therapist’s Guide To Having A Hot Girl Summer

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Wireless Festival 2019

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Having a hot girl summer seems simple: have fun with your friends, squeeze into your itty bitty shorts and focus on anything except a man. This isn’t an easy task for everyone.

“It’s about women and men being unapologetically them, just having a good-ass time, hyping up their friends, doing you. You definitely have to be a person who can be the life of the party and just a bad bitch,” Megan Thee Stallion told The Root about the term she coined.

Many women don’t know how to be unapologetic or even be the life of the party because of their fears and deep-rooted issues. Here’s a few tips of me, a licensed psychotherapist,  about steps you can take so you can have a hot girl summer.

Focus more on your self-care.

Blow the dust off of that journal. Make a list of new goals and do everything you can to accomplish them. Plan that girls trip you always wanted to go on. Take this time to focus on finding new ways to take care of yourself. It’s more than just having a spa day or getting your nails done. Take things up a notch so you can give your emotional health the attention it deserves.

Boost your self-esteem.

During my time as a therapist I have met so many beautiful black women who have low self-esteem and lack confidence. They feel inadequate and are often very critical of themselves and don’t know where to start when it comes to being compassionate and kind to themselves. This stems from them (and most of us) being taught to not like themselves from past abusers, bullies and traumas. We need to take time this summer to change this narrative.  To do that, we have to step out of our comfort zone of self-doubt. Whether it’s applying for that dream job, buying that cute outfit that you’ve been eyeing or approaching your crush that you think will reject you, stop thinking you’re not good enough so you can learn to love on yourself.

Love on your fellow woman.

As we begin our hot girl summer, it is crucial for women to begin to embrace each other.  While working with women I have noticed that jealousy, exclusion, animosity, rejection and violence serve as issues between women. We are all sisters and no one will understand you better than your fellow woman. Call up that woman you admire to go out and have coffee or drinks. Give out compliments.  Make amends with that old friend you miss dearly (if you see fit). Instead of pushing women away or treating them like they are the enemy, practice being more sisterly.

Go to therapy!

A therapist can help you process all of the issues that have prevented you from living your best life. Poor mental health creates a barrier that will keep you from realizing your self-worth, potential, strengths and keep you from flourishing. A therapist doesn’t tell you what to do with your life, which is a myth that keeps people from seeking help. Instead of walking around burying trauma, depression and anxiety, find a therapist that can walk with you on your road to change.

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