Going Head To Head About Head: How Men Vs Women View Oral

May 24, 2019  |  
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oral sex

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The way men talk about receiving oral can honestly make me so mad sometimes. I’ve heard plenty of men—PLENTY—advise their buddies to leave a woman because she wouldn’t go down on them or because she wasn’t good at it. They’ll advise each other to straight up end loving, functional relationships because the head isn’t there, or isn’t what it could be. Wow. I’ve never heard a woman tell another woman to leave a man if he didn’t go down on her. We may say, “That’s dumb” or “Well, you go down on him, so it’s only fair—tell him that!” But we wouldn’t tell a woman to leave a man she loves over the matter. I also hear men who aren’t getting oral in their relationships talking about it with such a tone and demeanor, you’d think these men were being abused. And their friends console and pity them as if they are being abused. Give me a break. It’s time to go head to head over, well, head. Here are ways men versus women view oral sex.

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Women are “selfish” if they don’t

If women won’t do it or won’t do it often, men say they are selfish. Men say they are prudes. It’s really condemned as an evil trait. All their friends know that girlfriend or wife doesn’t do it, and they see her in this light like she’s some ice-cold, neglectful partner. They joke about her behind her back.

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Men are amazing if they do

While women are evil if they don’t do it, men are just treated like absolute saints if they do give their partners oral. Women don’t condemn them if they don’t. Women don’t make jokes about them behind their back. We don’t even talk about it that much. We don’t equate whether or not a man goes down on his partner with his overall ability to be a loving partner.

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Gratuitous blowjobs seem to be expected

It’s just expected that, from time to time, a woman will just give a man a blowjob, receiving nothing in return. This may happen in the car. This may happen because she’s on her period. But, there seems to be an expectation that sometimes this will just happen, outside of regular sex, as a one-way street thing.

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Gratuitous eating out? Not as much

Women don’t really expect men to go down on us, outside of the context of sex. I mean, it sure is nice if they do! But, it’s considered more of a very generous act rather than an expected one.

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Men expect to finish

Men often expect that they should finish from oral, too. I know plenty of dudes who aren’t just into receiving a little oral to get warmed up for intercourse. Once it’s on, they want to receive oral to completion.

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Women just expect to get warmed up

Women really don’t expect men to give us oral until we orgasm. Honestly, we don’t trust many of them to even have the skills. But, furthermore, in my experience, most men just go down there for like 15 seconds and pop back up for intercourse. Imagine if we gave oral for that little time? There would be complaints.

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Men will bash women who do it poorly

I also hear mean talking about their partner’s techniques and judging their skill level in the blowjob department. If a woman, God forbid, get a little teeth involved on accident, all of the men who hear this groan as if it’s against the law. Do they have any idea how hard it is to keep teeth out of the equation?

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Women…don’t say much

Women don’t really sit around and critique our partner’s techniques in this department. If they’re really good at it, we say something. But, if they’re just sub-par, we don’t complain to our friends, giving details of the odd things our partners do down there.

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Blowjobs are actually hard work

So, in case men were unaware of this, blowjobs take hard word. We have to open our jaws very wide—which hurts—and somehow try to apply pressure with our mouths while pulling our teeth away. That literally defies the rules of how the mouth works. Our teeth are attached to our mouths, after all.

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Going down on a woman is not hard work

Going down on a woman is not strenuous at all. Confusing? Sure. But strenuous? Yeah right. It’s like licking an ice cream cone.

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Some men claim a BJ doesn’t count as cheating

Not all men but some men try to use the excuse, when receiving oral from someone who isn’t their partner, that it wasn’t really cheating because it wasn’t intercourse. Or that it was only partial cheating.

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Imagine if we used that excuse for receiving oral

Can you imagine if a woman tried to say she didn’t “really” cheat because a man just went down on her? I have a feeling that the same men who say receiving oral, as a man, isn’t cheating would accuse their partner of cheating if she received it.

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Imagine if we used that excuse for giving oral

Oh, and can you imagine if women tried to say that, by giving head to someone who isn’t their partner, they only “partially” cheated? It just wouldn’t happen.

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Women are “prudes” if they don’t swallow

Then there’s the whole matter of swallowing. If a woman doesn’t do that, and a man shares this info with his boys, this is another thing they will all groan at is if it’s the most selfish and prudish thing.

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Men…don’t even face the issue

I honestly wonder if women actually ejaculated the way men do (the jury is out on if or how women do this), if men would swallow. Probably not. Oh, and do any of them want to swallow their own stuff? Nope. But we’re expected to.

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