The elusive female ejaculation, commonly known as gushing or squirting, is a phenomenon that has been popularized by the adult entertainment industry and it is actually more real than you think — that is, of course, minus the lights, camera, props and the beauty of editing!
So let’s say you’re having sex with your beloved and they hit that “spot” just right and all of a sudden you get the urge to pee. Afraid you’re going to urinate on your partner, you stop right in the middle of sex, cutting yourself short of experiencing the phenomenon known as female ejaculation. We don’t want you to do that anymore because you’re not about to pee. You’re about to you know what. So here’s everything you need to know about female ejaculation.
What is it? Female ejaculation refers to a watery fluid that originates in the G-Spot and is secreted by the Skenes/Paraurethral Glands through the urethra before and/or during orgasm. Although the fluid released during female ejaculation comes from the urethra, rest assured it is not urine. The fluid is female ejaculate, and it comes from the ducts around the urethra, not from the bladder, where urine is stored. The reason people may confuse female ejaculate with urine is the fact that female ejaculate can also sometimes travel back up into the bladder, which is called retrograde ejaculation. And because the female ejaculate may mix with urine and even share some of the same properties of urine- -urea and creatinine– many people think that it is urine; however that is not the case.
Female ejaculate is also distinctly different from normal vaginal fluid. Normal vaginal fluid can vary in taste, smell, color and consistency, depending on menstrual cycle, hormonal levels, food intake, presence of infection etc. Female ejaculate on the other hand is fairly consistent in taste, smell, color and consistency. It is a sweet smelling, watery type of fluid and is not the typical fluid that one sees when a woman is wet from sexual arousal or having had an orgasm.
What causes female ejaculation? During sexual arousal the G-Spot becomes enlarges and the tissue surrounding the urethra becomes engorged with blood and the Skenes/ Paraurethral glands begin to produce and fill with fluid. The rhythmic pressure from fingers, toys, a penis, or the contractions of an orgasm pushe the fluid out through the urethral opening causing ejaculation.The amount of fluid expelled during ejaculation can vary from woman to woman however the average amount is somewhere around two tablespoons. This depends on how hydrated a woman is and how much she pushes while ejaculating.
Can every women experience female ejaculation? All women have the Paraurethral / Skenes glands so all women are capable of producing this fluid and can eventually achieve female ejaculation! Interestingly enough, many women experience ejaculation during sex, but do not realize what’s happening and as a result, they cut the experience short for fear of “urinating on their partner.” That fear in turn leads to clenching down of the PC muscles which stop the fluid from coming out. The inability to relax, bare down and push prevents the release of the ejaculate. This inability usually comes down to a matter of inhibitions regarding sexuality, embarrassment, guilt, unfamiliarity with the female reproductive system, not being in touch with one’s own body, not having a thorough understanding of female ejaculation, lack of connection and/or sexual compatibility with one’s partner, and stress.
How can a woman increase her changes of experiencing female ejaculation? The first step is to stop trying! Like exploring everything else new in your experience of sex, you should work towards it but not put unnecessary stresses on yourself or your partner by making it your goal. Having goal-oriented sex almost always ensures that you will not reach your sexual goal. Addressing any psychological barriers that may contribute to your inability to fulfill sexual desires may also be helpful and/or it may be just be a matter of finding the right technique.
The most simple and effective way to bring yourself or your partner one step closer to allowing the waters to flow from within is by including some of the following tips into your regular sex play:
- Strengthen your PC Muscles. Being able to contract and release your PC muscle can help with achieving female ejaculation
- Add clitoral stimulation to your G-spot stimulation. Multiple forms of stimulation help to increase levels of arousal.
- Locate your G-Spot. Try using a g-spot stimulator to help locate your G-Spot. Additionally, the G-Spot is usually much easier to locate after the first orgasm.
- Try to urinate before sex play. Emptying your bladder will help to reduce anxiety around urinating on your partner.
- Bare down and push when you feel like you are about to have an orgasm rather than clenching tight. This will help to force out any fluid that has built up in the Skenes/ Paraurethral glands. Whatever you do, don’t stop pushing just allow the fluid to flow. The orgasm will be very intense and pleasurable.
- Seek the advice of a professional sex therapist or counselor. There may be some deeper issue blocking your ability to experience your sexual desires.
So the next time you are in the midst of sex play, give yourself permission to let go and experience the orgasmic intensity of a g-spot orgasm. Don’t worry it’s not pee — unless you didn’t empty your bladder first. Try to make yourself as comfortable as possible and try to enjoy what the experience has to offer you.Give yourself permission and freedom to let go and most importantly, have fun! Remember the journey is just as important as the destination!
Dr. TaMara loves nothing more than talking about sex! At the age of 13, she told her mother she wanted to be a Sex Therapist! Her passion is deeply rooted in spreading messages about healthy sexuality. Dr. TaMara is a sexologist, sex therapist, educator and motivational speaker with more than 20 years of experience speaking, writing and teaching about sexuality. She travels the country helping individuals embrace and honor their sexuality. Dr. TaMara has published numerous books and articles. She is the owner of L.I.F.E. by Dr. TaMara Griffin Live Inspired Feel Empowered LLC-LIFE Follow her on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, http://www.drtamaragriffin.com or http://www.projectcreatesafe.com.