I wouldn’t dare say men have it as hard as women do—or even close—but I am also not so naïve to think that men just don’t have a care in the world, never worry about anything, and feel completely confident, every day. I know that is not the case. In fact, the closer I’ve gotten to not just my live-in boyfriend but also his male friends who now confide in me, the more I’ve come to learn that men walk around with a lot of fears and insecurities. And they lack one, er, luxury that women supposedly have: the ability to admit their insecurities. On top of feeling self-conscious about certain things, men feel like they aren’t even allowed to talk about that because they have to seem cool, collected, and confident all of the time. If you love a man or just care about one, you should know these are things most men are insecure about.
Being able to afford things
When in doubt as to what a man can afford to do/where a man can afford to take you, choose the more affordable spot. Men never feel like they’re allowed to say, “I can’t afford this place…” But, if you pick the budget spot, and they want to go big, then they’re free to say, “Nah—I want to treat you to this other place.”
Most men dread losing their hair or even having a receding hairline. It’s very common, and most women don’t even notice or mind, but men are so insecure about it. So, if you do date or love a hairless man, just be careful what you say.
Most men worry that they don’t last long enough. Ironically, most men really only can last for roughly five minutes during intercourse, but they all believe that other men are out there lasting a half hour.
And, um, equipment
They also worry about their penis size and how hard they get during sex. From my understanding, almost every man in the world wishes he knew how his equipment measured up to other men’s, but doesn’t feel comfortable asking.
Their romantic gestures
If your guy does something super sweet for you, don’t photograph it, video tape it, and post it on all your social media platforms. Most men don’t really want you broadcasting what was meant to be an intimate gesture.
Babying your fur baby
If your man loves your dog or cat, appreciate it—don’t comment on it. What I mean is, if you love that your man talks to your dog in a baby voice, don’t point out that he does it, or it will all be over.
Their career anxieties
Not only do men have anxiety over where their careers are going, but they also have anxiety over having those anxieties. They feel like they’re supposed to know exactly where things are headed and feel totally confident, all of the time.
Being too thin
This is rarely a concern women have, but it is one that men have. Men don’t want to be called “slender” or “svelte.” They feel that those are feminine terms and that men should have some bulk on them.
Being too flabby
Of course, if being too thin isn’t your dude’s issue, then he probably worries about being flabby. Very few men can actually be that perfect combination of toned and muscular and slender but wide in all the right places.
How manly they are or aren’t
Is their car masculine enough? What about the alcohol they drink? The clothes they wear? I’m telling you: men secretly make a million little micro decisions about this when simply ordering an appetizer.
Unfortunately, most men are told from a young age that being emotionally open is to be weak. It’s one of the reasons they take longer to mature than women. So, if they do open up to you, don’t make a whole thing about it. Act like it’s perfectly normal.
Lack of sexual experience
We all know by now that men inflate their number and women falsely decrease it. Translation: most men have been with far fewer sexual partners than they’ll admit. Add to that that, satisfying women in bed is just tricky, so a lot of men are insecure about how they hold up in this department.
Lack of relationship experience
Men can also feel insecure about their overall lack of relationship experience. It seems that, by age 30, women have had many more serious, long-term relationships than men have.
If a man is shorter than six feet tall, I can promise you he’s a little insecure about it. Somewhere along the lines, someone made men feel that being 5 foot 10 inches is “short.”
Coming on too strong
Men desperately fear coming on too strong or being called “creepy.” So, on that note, if a man simply tries to say hello to you, don’t tell him he’s being creepy. Reserve that insult for the actual creeps.