When you first start seeing someone, if he mentions that he doesn’t exactly get along with his family, you may think, “That’s not a huge deal. Everybody thinks their family is crazy.” And, you may not even think about how that will affect you. But, if you get seriously involved with a man who truly despises his family, it will affect you more than you think. You’re hoping to build a life with this man and, possibly, join families one day. The closer you get, the more that means spending holidays together and getting close to his family. If he rather openly abhors them, things can get pretty awkward for you. He has the freedom to speak to them disrespectfully: you don’t. Not that you necessarily want to, but no matter how you feel about them, you’re always “just” the girlfriend or “just” the daughter-in-law, so you don’t get to speak as freely. When your partner hates his family, here’s where that leaves you.
You feel bad saying something bad
Even though your partner openly criticizes his family and talks badly about them behind their back, you feel like you can’t rely engage in the conversation. You feel bad for agreeing with him or confirming what he says in anyway—you still worry he’ll say, “Hey, don’t disrespect my family.”