The Value Of Having A Mother Figure Who Isn’t Your Mom

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mother figure meaning

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I have several second mothers. When introducing my boyfriend to all the important people in my life, my second mothers were at the top of my list. My boyfriend was trying to get a grasp on what my relationship was with them, since I wasn’t quite able to describe it yet myself. To say, “I’m introducing you to my friend today” would throw him off, since these friends were clearly triple my age. But, they aren’t my aunts. We have no blood relation, and it was important my boyfriend knew that, too. Then I got it: they’re my second mothers. That was the best way I could explain it. They feel nurturing and maternal towards me. They have been there for me in the ways a mother will be. They feel invested in my life the way a real mother is. But, ultimately, since they aren’t my actual moms, it’s a unique and valuable relationship. Here is why having a mother figure who isn’t your mom is so important.


They can just be excited for you

When you tell your second mom about something exciting—like a home you’re buying, a new job, or a trip you’re going on—she’s just excited for you. She picks up cues from you to know how to respond. You’re excited and happy so she’s excited and happy. Second moms can be great people to share good news with.

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