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critical judgmental mother

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My mom, in her heart of hearts, wishes I were married to some stockbroker, that I didn’t work, and that I spent most of my time hanging at a country club or getting ready for social events like galas and theater openings. She won’t admit that she thinks that, but when I tell her I know she thinks that, she has to break eye contact and nervously fiddle with something because, well, I called it. She’s not a great liar, and she can’t—with a straight face—tell me that I’m wrong. Look, she isn’t some superficial villain you may find in a Disney film about an orphan who sweeps floors for an evil Queen. She’s just a mother who wants the best for her daughter, and is, unfortunately, incorrect about what the best would be for me. My mom wants me to marry someone wealthier and this is how I deal.

via GIPHY

I protect my partner from it

First and foremost, I drew a hard line about my mother saying anything to my partner about these things. She isn’t to make comments about his income or make him feel judged for what he makes (or doesn’t make). I told her if she does that even once, we’re not visiting her again. She can take up her concerns with me, but my partner has to feel welcome and accepted in her home.

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