Signs Your Friends Are Low-Key Haters

February 19, 2019  |  
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Friends embracing

Source: Sara Press / Getty

The saying goes, “you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family,” but the truth is your friends should be an extension of your family, meaning the individuals you call friends are people whose support and love you can count on unconditionally. While we all know our social circles are made up of friends, acquaintances, associates, and many other groupings, anyone given the distinction of friend should never be a part of your group of “haters.” If you feel one of your friends is slowly creeping into that category, check out this list of telltale signs he or she is a hater, and be sure to address their behavior — or their position in your life — asap.

Making time for a quick friendship selfie

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They’re Always In Competition With You

This is one of the easiest and most reliable ways to tell if your friend is really a friend or simply a hater in disguise. Constantly feeling the need to compete with you, no matter how big or small the reason, is not what a real friend does.

Instead of competing, a true friend is fine existing on their own accomplishments instead of trying to piggyback off yours in an attempt to one-up you. You want friendship, not some petty competition to see who’s best.


Black Girls Drinking

Source: Ronnie Kaufman/Larry Hirshowitz / Getty

They Belittle Your Accomplishments And Achievements

Checking off accomplishments and achievements off your bucket list is one of the best things about adulting because it shows the results of your hard work and dedication.

However, if your so-called friend always find a way to belittle your accomplishments and achievements instead of just being happy for you…newsflash, they’re not your friend. Which lead us to…

Jealous woman ignoring friend's engagement ring

Source: JGI/Jamie Grill / Getty

It Kills Them To Congratulate You

Pay very close attention to who is sincerely rooting for and congratulating you in times of celebration, those are the people who are your friends, not the haters sitting on the sidelines.

If you can see the pain it causes your friend to simply extend a congratulations your way, you really need to take a step back and ask yourself why you have this person in your life at all.

Women friends together at beauty salon

Source: Yellow Dog Productions / Getty

They Like To Make Fun Of You In Front Of Others

This is unacceptable behavior that haters use to make themselves feel better by belittling you in an effort to diminish your shine and lift themselves up. You should never accept a friend making fun of you in front of other people and writing it off as a joke because it’s much deeper than that.

The way to deal with this is to call it out immediately, right as they are doing it. This way, it will startle them enough to the point that they won’t be able to deny what they’re doing and your point will be made firmly.

Two friends sitting on stairs listening music together with earphones while looking at cell phone

Source: Westend61 / Getty

They Reveal All Your Secrets

When you really trust your friend you feel comfortable and vulnerable enough to share some (or all) of your deepest secrets, but what happens when that friend spills all your tea without a care in the world? It means that are not the friend you need.

There is a certain level of unforgivable betrayal that occurs when you realize that your friend has been telling all of your business, business that you thought you were sharing with someone who really cared.


Portrait of three female friends

Source: Alain SHRODER / Getty

They Never Share Any Secrets About Themselves

While you are sharing all of your secrets with them, your friend never reveals any of their tea to you. This is a classic case of someone gathering receipts on you to use against you at a later date, usually the first time you piss them off.

This is not how a friendship is supposed to operate. It should be about love and support, not listening to me spill my secrets so you can use them for future ammo against me.

Laughing group of friends barbecuing in backyard

Source: Thomas Barwick / Getty

They Get In Their Feelings When You Offer Advice

Some people have a hard time taking advice and that’s fine, do you. However, if you notice that whenever you give advice to a certain friend, they catch a major attitude, you likely already know the reason why.

When people do this it’s because they are so jealous and envious of you, that they interpret your advice as you looking down on them and thinking that you are superior to what they’re going through.

Friends having fun at the nightclub

Source: damircudic / Getty

You Can’t Depend On Them

Being dependable is one of the greatest traits of a good friend, so if your friend is sorely lacking in this area (and several others) it may be time to reevaluate the so-called friendship.

Being able to call on your friend when you really need them is very important, it shows that you are a priority to them and they have your back when it counts. Chances are, if dependability is lacking, so are a lot of other friendship essentials.

Friends embracing

Source: Sara Press / Getty

They Live For The Drama, But Hate The Happiness

We all are guilty of our petty moments, but there is a limit to how far it should go within a friendship. If your friend is the first to run to receive any drama you have going on, but is entirely absent when you’re happy, they are definitely not someone you should call a friend.

Your happiness is something that any real friend would relish in, not disappear or secretly hate that it’s happening. This is incredibly toxic behavior and you should remove this person from your inner circle fast.

Roof party with friends

Source: Vladimir Vladimirov / Getty

You Can’t Remember When They Actually Acted As A Friend

It as simple as that. If you can’t easily recall when this person actually acted as a friend, then you already know what needs to be done.

If they are not actively being a friend then you don’t need to have them around, especially if all they do is try to bring you down on a regular basis.

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