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As a shorthaired gal, I’ve heard just about every “theory” people have as to why women chop off their hair. There must, of course, be theories because women can’t just have short hair—right? If a woman cuts her hair short, it must be discussed. There is the “norm,” which is long hair, and the abnormal, which is short hair. I don’t agree with or support that statement—I’m just saying that it is a sentiment that seems to prevail. Short hair is one element of the female aesthetic men seem to care a lot about. I, personally, cut off my hair because I’d had the same super long, almost mermaid-like locks for my entire life and decided life is too short to only try one hairstyle. I was also tired of all the matting—long hair turns into long dreads fast if you don’t comb it meticulously a few times a day. I just thought people would say, “Cute haircut!” when I chopped it off, but they had a lot of other things to say. Here are annoying stigmas about women with short hair.
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We’re opinionated
Shorthaired women are allegedly very opinionated, will dominate conversation, and have a lot to say about women with long hair or who subscribe to other traditional “feminine” beauty choices. (Not really—we respect a woman’s choice to have long or short hair and our short hair has no impact on our ability to carry on a two-way conversation).
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We did it to spite traditional beauty standards
Naturally, we must have chopped off our hair as some act of rebellion. We do it to spite the patriarchy and all of the beauty “norms” society has enforced upon us. (Actually, the patriarchy had nothing to do with our decision—but man does the patriarchy think that they’re always on our minds).
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We’re lesbians
And the truly uncreative believe all women with short hair are lesbians. But then why do we not believe the Johnny Depps and other longhaired fellows of the world are gay?
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We’re militant feminists
Of course, we must be militant feminists. Wanting equal rights for women must mean wanting equal hair lengths between men and women. Yes…makes plenty of sense.
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We’re gender-fluid
Because we look androgynous we must feel androgynous too, right? Mmmmm not really. A woman who very much feels like a woman on the inside, 24 hours a day, can have short hair. I know—it’s hard for some men to wrap their minds around that.
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We cut it during a breakup
Ah but of course. A man must have prompted this—or rather, a breakup with a man. We only make big changes based on the status of our relationships….Actually, no. I chopped off my hair during a very happy relationship that I’m still in.
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We like to be the man in our relationship
Shorthaired women, even the straight ones, must like to be the men in their relationships, right? They must boss their male partners around and seek out men who want to be the “woman” in the relationship. Errrr…no, actually, women with short hair still like to be treated like a lady, at least most of the time.
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We did it to prove our beauty
Ah the old, “Look, I’m so hot I was able to cut off all my hair” theory. Here’s what I’ll say to that: women with true confidence don’t need to “prove” how hot they are. They just know it.
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We cut it out of laziness
If you think we cut our hair because we’re too lazy to maintain it, you’re dead wrong. Short hair is one of the toughest styles to maintain. We have to get it trimmed far more frequently than longhaired women to keep up the look.
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It was an accident
Must’ve been an accident, right? We fell asleep in the hairdresser’s chair or we were too shy to say anything when she kept going shorter and shorter. No sir, I can promise you this cute AF cut was very much on purpose.
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We’re finding ourselves
Any time a woman makes a major change she must be “finding herself,” right? The haircut must have come with a few self-help books and an around the world plane ticket.
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We can’t do anything with it
If you think we can’t style short hair, think again. Short cuts look adorable with hair brooches, headbands, and other adornments—long hair just overpowers those accessories.
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We have lots of brothers
We must have just grown up with boys and wanted to fit in. (I can actually assure you women who grow up with tons of brothers have to fight to stand out amongst that showy masculine energy).
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We did it to anger our mothers
We must just be rebelling against some critical, high-maintenance, ultra-feminine, old-fashioned mother. (Actually, my mom loves my short hair—she thinks it’s very chic).
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We want special attention for it
Do we want special attention for our short hair? Well, I mean, we don’t want attention for it any more than a woman with long hair wants attention for that. Some women like attention and some don’t. The hair length has nothing to do with it (but if we spiked it and colored it the rainbow, well, maybe).
