Surprising Mood Killers That Mean Sex Is Cancelled
When you’ve been with someone for a while, your sex like can become delicate—to say the least. At the beginning of a relationship, your urge to have sex is like an undeniable force. You are basically always game to cancel everything for a session in the sack. Your bodies are buzzing with sexual desire. Nothing can hold you back from doing the deed. As you’ve been together for years, the scales tip entirely. You barely make time for sex—everything else takes over your schedule. Your libido declines and requires extra work to be revved up. And on the rare occasion you are both rearing to go, just about anything can get in the way. Keeping up a sex life in a long-term relationship is important, but when you get comfortable and you build a life together—a life full of responsibilities and obligations—sex juts gets pushed to the backs of your minds. Or, something kills the mood. Here are surprising mood killers that mean sex is cancelled.
You both get into bed, ready to do the deed, but you take one final peek at your phones before taking your clothes off. And…something on Facebook upsets you or sparks a libido-killing discussion. Like that couple that’s been together for less time than you have who is already engaged.
Mention of an ex
You didn’t even mean to talk exes, but they just came up. You asked your partner if he’s ever been to Paris because you’d like to go sometime and he says he has and then you put it together that…oooooh…he went with an ex. So now Paris is ruined for you. And so is sex, because you’re busy thinking about the sexy time your partner had in Paris with another woman.
You’re driving home from work, all ready to jump your partner’s bones. You’ve had a good day and you two have been exchanging cute texts. But then, traffic is bad. And as you almost make it through a left turn, the car in front of you goes so slow that you get left in the dust. And then construction makes you take a long detour. You’re nowhere near in the mood to bang when you get back.
Picking a movie
It’s supposed to be a nice, pleasant night. You’re going to skip the prices at the movie theaters and watch something on Netflix. But you veto his suggestion. He vetoes yours. This goes on for a very long time until you watch separate movies in separate rooms and really just don’t bond.
Picking a sad movie
Maybe you do find a movie that appeals to both of you but, you didn’t think about the fact that a documentary about orphanages in Eastern Europe wouldn’t exactly leave you feeling sexy and upbeat.
You’ve had plans for weeks with another couple or some friends. You’ve made accommodations like getting someone to walk your dog, and getting off work early to skip traffic to make it to the other side of town. One of the friends gets super sick, and the plans are cancelled. You’re left with a free night that you could have planned something else for, with nothing to do. You’re both just grumpy and call the night—and sex—a wash.
A rude server or cashier
You’re just picking up a few things at the store for your date night—a bottle of wine, some ice cream, and an appetizer. But then the cashier is so rude to you. You ask a question, and she answers you with a tone that implies you’re dumb. You go back at her with an attitude, the situation escalates, and you and your partner leave the grocery store pissed off.
A text from mom
There’s nothing like a text from mom—with tons of emojis and something about the high fiber drink she bought you for your stomach issues—flashing on your cell phone to kill the mood during foreplay.
You just want to give your partner a tiny note about hand drying the silverware immediately rather than letting it air dry, because it’s better for the silver. But he has a note for you about how you fold the towels. And now you’re deep in domestic talk, and that’s just not sexy.
Some couples cook well together, but some…don’t. Some have a lot of feedback to give each other on the right and wrong ways to chop this, heat that, and sautee this. Simply making a scramble becomes a fight. You eat, angrily, in silence.
You’re both giddy and excited to sit in front of your laptop and make a plan—maybe buy tickets for a trip. But you start to disagree about which weekend to go—you’d both have to cancel something else, and neither of you wants to. Then you can’t agree on a hotel—pricier, and closer to town, or cheaper, and further from town? Well now you’re grumpy and your plans to book a trip and then have sex are over.
Picking a restaurant for delivery
You’ll just watch a movie, and at some point, pause it to order food. Whoops, you let it get pretty late—you should order food now. So it’s time to pick a restaurant. You argrue about which one for 15 minutes. You pick one, and it’s already closed. You’re stuck ordering from the only place that’s still open, about which neither of you is excited. You’re starving, and too tired for sex by the time you eat.
Discussing your declining sex life
One little comment about how long it’s been since the last time you had sex prompts a discussion about whose fault that is and…that’s just not foreplay talk.
A messy bed
You make your way to the bedroom. You’re making out and into it. But you plop down on a shoe your partner left on the bed. And roll over onto a food wrapper. Now you’re just mad that he left the bed like this—this is not how you create a sexy bedroom environment.
I can’t tell you how many times my partner and I have accidentally injured one another during foreplay. I was hoping he’d be dizzy from an orgasm—not from my head knocking his at full speed with my elbow.