Some may say that caffeine is not addictive, or that the studies on it are shaky at best. But you know, in your heart—your jittery, skipping-a-beat heart—if you’re addicted to the stuff. Research and science aside, you know what happens when you don’t get your coffee. You also know what happens the moment you do get your coffee. It may be all in your head, or it may truly be physical, but you just know if you’re addicted to caffeine. You tried ditching coffee, but all you did was turn to other caffeinated alternatives, which was sort of cheating. A little caffeine can be a great way to kick start your day, but you should look forward to your one or two daily cups—rather than simply dread the idea of being without them. You certainly should be able to go a day or two without caffeine without having some sort of problematic incident. Here are signs you’re addicted to caffeine.
You’ve done things you regret off of it
When you’ve been off caffeine, you’ve done things you regret, like said nasty things to loved ones and even quit jobs. You were just so cranky.
You’ve done things you regret on it
When highly caffeinated, you’ve also done things you regret, like invest all of your savings in some barely-formed business idea or messaged all your exes.
You’ve fought someone for the last cup
You’ve behaved in a rather embarrassing way for the last cup in the pot. You’ve physically pushed someone out of the way, or offered them $20—for a little cup of coffee.
You’ve had some gross cups
You’ve finished the coffee left in a stranger’s cup, on the table next to you at a restaurant. You’ve consumed two-day-old coffee.
You’re always tired
You drink caffeine all of the time, and somehow you’re always tired. Essentially, it isn’t working on you anymore.
You pee a lot and often
You pee a lot. You pee so much that people worry you need to see a urologist. You’ve seen one—nothing’s wrong. You just drink so many diuretic cups of coffee that you have to release a river every 20 minutes.
You shake when you don’t have it
Your entire body begins to shake if you haven’t had caffeine yet. You can’t even hold a pencil and write a sentence that isn’t squiggly. You look like you’re freezing—but you’re just un-caffeinated.
You need more each day
You’ve slowly needed more in order to feel the effects. There was once a day when one cup would do it. Now, you’re barely yourself until you’ve had four cups.
You shake when you smell it
You don’t only shake when you haven’t had caffeine—you also shake when you smell coffee. It’s your body reacting to that substance to which you’ve become so attached.
You’d have it instead of food
If you only have time to eat a meal or have a cup of coffee, you’ll choose the coffee. You’re literally choosing the substance over food—like a true addict.
It takes up a substantial part of your budget
You spend $100 or more a month on coffee. That’s not quite normal. A giant canister of the stuff from the grocery store is only $7 or $8, and should get you—one single person—through a few weeks.
People have called you Jekyll and Hyde
Your personality fluctuates so drastically when you’re off coffee versus when you’re on it, that people have compared you to the famous unpredictable character from the gothic novel.
All gifts are caffeine-related
If it’s time for someone to get you a gift, that gift will be caffeine related. Friends know it’s the only type of gift you’re sure to use.
You must always know where it is
You have a strong desire to always know where the nearest coffee is. If you go to a friend’s house or a meeting, you ask if there is coffee, or if there can be coffee, right away. You can’t focus until you know there will be coffee.
The idea of not having it makes you panic
The thought of not being able to drink caffeine ever again—or even for a week—gives you a panic attack. You fear the things that may happen.