Sleazy Ways Men Pressure Women
There are few things worse than a man who feels he is entitled to sex. It doesn’t matter if you’re on a first date, still trying to flirt, or you’ve been together with a woman for five years: men, you’re never entitled to sex. For the record, women aren’t either. I can’t make my partner of five years feel like he’s wronged me if he isn’t in the mood one night. But I’ve noticed that it is men who tend to exhibit signs that they feel entitled to sex more than women. I mean, listen: we have our vibrators and sometimes they’re better than a real man. If a guy doesn’t want to have sex with us, we have other options. Men do too, but, well, being with a woman is just better than being with—ya know—themselves. That still doesn’t make pressuring a woman into sex okay. A lot of men do, however, try subtle pressuring tactics. They think that being sly about it means they aren’t perpetrators of the #MeToo movement. But not so. Even slight pressure is not okay. Here are sly and sleazy ways men try to pressure women into sex.
I need sex to test our chemistry
Alright well, you can still wait as long as the woman wants to wait. You don’t need to have sex on the first date—or even in the first month—to test sexual chemistry. But also, might I add that this excuse is just BS and often sexual chemistry comes from emotional and mental chemistry.
“You only live once”
Sure, that’s true! But just because a woman only lives once doesn’t mean that she thinks having sex with you is one of the best ways to spend her precious moments on this planet. Also, dangling the idea of impending and inevitable death over someone’s head in order to get laid is…so wrong.
They pressure you to drink
“You’re making me drink alone tonight?” “They make the best cocktails here—what’s the point in coming here if you don’t drink?” “Aaah. I can’t be with a woman who doesn’t love her whisky.” Some men just can’t accept that you’re staying sober for this one. Your intoxication was going to be one of their ins with you.
“Can you not handle your alcohol?”
Then, they’ll start criticizing you and judging you, saying the reason you aren’t drinking must be that “You can’t handle your alcohol.” In this way, they’re trying to make you want to prove something to them by drinking.
“Oh. You can’t trust yourself when you’re drunk”
Now they’re implying that you do things you regret when you’re drunk, and if you want to prove that’s not true, then you need to drink. But, um, yeah—you do do things you regret when you’re drunk, you’re admitting that, and that’s why you’re not drinking tonight. Thank you!
They praise promiscuous women
Some men will pressure you by comparison. Maybe they’ll see a woman in the bar dressed or behaving promiscuously and say, “That’s awesome—I love when women do that.” They’re trying to elicit your jealousy, and make you want to act like that woman to get their approval.
“Do you want to blue ball me?”
Oh no boo hoo. Sorry buddy but, it’s not on anybody but yourself to make sure you get one off tonight. Your balls are nobody’s problem but your own. You have two hands. Help yourself.
You’re a b*tch for setting boundaries
You turn down his attempts to…whatever…and he tells you that you’re being mean, or cold, or a b*tch. But any person who would call you a mean name for respecting yourself deserves to be kicked to the curb. And maybe in the balls.
“Don’t worry what people will think”
Ah yes, this sneaky trick. Some men will try to appeal to the fact that many women do worry that others will judge them for sleeping with someone early. Then, they’ll try to act like they’re being an ally in helping this woman disregard societal expectations by having sex with her. Gee. How thoughtful.
They say you’re leading them on
Some men try to guilt trip women, and say they’re leading them on just by making out with them or going home with them to hang out. But, um, since when does making out with someone equal a promise to have sex with him?
They allude to other prospects
Then there are the men who will allude to the fact that there are other women in the picture—other women who do have sex with them—so if this woman wants to stay in the picture, she better catch up. But that’s okay—she’s cool, bruh. You can go to those other women. Surely they exist…
“You deserve this”
Some men pretend they are empowering their dates by giving them the opportunity to enjoy their bodies. How generous. How selfless. How completely…full of sh*t these men are.
“I spent a lot of money on this night”
Yes, buddy, you did, but if you wanted to spend a bunch of money in exchange for guaranteed sex then, well, I think we both know there are specific professional women you could have called for that. Your date was just trying to get to know you. You could have taken her for beer and wings for all she cared.
“I really know what I’m doing in bed”
Ooooooh. The allure of a man who is good in bed. How can any woman say no to that? Oh yeah. Because we know our bodies better than any man and can probably give ourselves a better, bigger O than any dude.
It’s all or nothing
Some men withhold all affection—they’ll stop kissing you, cuddling you, and generally being sweet—when they find out it’s not leading to sex. They say, “It’s all or nothing” or “It’s too tempting to just cuddle.” Fine. Then the date chooses nothing. How ‘bout that?