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Sex is supposed to be an intimate experience with a partner where two people are free to be their nastiest, freakiest, vulnerable self.
But often our insecurities barge in and try to sabotage our most pleasurable experience. One position in particular, girl on top, can take us straight out of the bedroom and into our own heads.
I used to find that I would hide my body under missionary position…literally. With the man on top, my stomach is laying the flat and so are my breasts so there isn’t much to really focus on other than my sensations and his face.
But being on top puts you in a whole new spotlight. There is no hiding your lopsided boobs or your donut rolls, and to top things off, since you’re doing all the work, all he has to do is set back, watch and enjoy the show. Talk about pressure!
Sex experts told Refinery 29 all these feelings are normal, but you should relax.
“If a partner is looking at us from the bottom, we’re thinking, They’ll see up my nostrils. Can they see my rolls?,” Megan Stubbs, EdD, a sexologist in Grand Rapids, MI told the site.
“Those are things that are manifested in our heads Take yourself out of the position, and look through your partner’s eyes,” she says.
It’s also important to remember, you aren’t the only one insecure about a thing or two when it comes to your body. Men can have body issues too!
“Don’t think that if your partner comes off super confident, they’re not worried about anything,” Stubbs explained.
But if it’s still not your thing, don’t stress yourself. Luckily there are tons of other positions that can make you look and feel better.
“There’s no rule that says you have to like every single position,” Stubb told Refinery.
