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moving to the suburbs from the city of a young married couple spending time together indoors

So your partner wants to move to the suburbs and you want to stay in the city. Nay—you need to stay in the city. But he says he needs less congestion, noise pollution, and traffic. It can feel like you’re at an impasse. And, the truth is that many couples have broken up simply because the two individuals didn’t feel that they could be happy building a life in the same place. They wanted to wind up in the same place, of course, but their ideas of the perfect place to live were vastly different. People get tired of city life. People can become exhausted by the fact that their calendar is always full, and they struggle to even make all of those appointments because of traffic. Some people just want to get back in touch with nature and live somewhere with less cement because it’s so good for you. But some people feel a deep connection to the city—like it feels their heartbeat. Here’s what can happen when your partner wants to move to the suburbs but you want a city life.

moving to the suburbs from the city

Happy teenage girl looking at man driving truck

Get out of town more

You may be able to scratch your partner’s itch by simply getting out of town more often. Find some affordable, quiet towns you can escape to for weekend getaways every six to eight weeks. Maybe just knowing that a break from the city is around the corner, and will be regular, can be enough.

moving to the suburbs from the city hiking

Take more hikes

If you can’t leave for a full weekend, drive out of the city and take a hike on a weekend. It could just be a nature fix your partner is after. This may not put off his desire to leave the city forever but it could work for a while.

moving to the suburbs from the city 1950s mid-century modern bungalow style house in the mid-west of United States for sale with sale sign on lawn. The real estate featuring attached garage, picture windows and a well landscaped front yard and driveway.

Buy in the suburbs; rent your city spot

If you can financially swing it, buy a place in the suburbs and rent out (or sublet) your place in the city. It can be important for you to know that you still have that connection to the city.

moving to the suburbs from the city signing contract of loan agreement document with bank broker agent insurance, Real Estate concept.

Meet him halfway

There might be an area you can live that’s not quite the deep, isolated suburbs but is still far away enough from the hustle and bustle of the city to make your partner happy. Meanwhile, if you’re only a 30 to 45-minute drive from the city, you know you can return whenever you like.

moving to the suburbs from the city angle view of an airplane flying in front of cloudy sky in bright morning

Try long-distance

You can always try doing long-distance until you’re ready to join your partner in the suburbs (or until he learns he doesn’t like it out there and wants to return to the city). There are ways to make it work.

moving to the suburbs from the city

A young African American couple sit on the park bench and look at some photo’s on their mobile phone

Move near a park

Here’s a trick that could let you skip the suburb move: find a place that faces a park. That means you won’t see and hear foot and vehicle traffic all day long and your partner can wake up to a green view.

moving to the suburbs from the city portrait of mid adult businessman with hand on face

Move closer to his work

It may just be the commute to work and the traffic that has your partner in a fuss. Consider moving somewhere closer to his work. Even if that puts you far from yours, at least you’re still in the city.

moving to the suburbs from the city holding moving boxes

Set a goal date

Maybe your partner doesn’t need to leave the city today, but he needs to know that he won’t be there forever. Talk it over. Perhaps, if you could be comfortable moving to the suburbs in five years, that will be good enough for him. Just knowing that that’s coming could make him happy.

moving to the suburbs from the city travelling camper in NZ

Let him take that RV trip

He’s been saying for years that he wants to take a solo road trip across America. So let him take it. Yes, you’ll miss him, but you can also feel less guilty about keeping him in one spot.

moving to the suburbs from the city camping

Go camping more

Going camping can satisfy your partner’s need to leave the city. Maybe you can be that couple who is really into roughing it in the woods. Learn about the gear and become regulars at the wilderness stores.

moving to the suburbs from the city

Stop filling your schedules

If it’s just the business of city life that has your partner feeling blue, then stop over-scheduling your lives. You don’t have to attend every birthday party and charity fundraiser to which you’re invited. A slower pace of life could be all your partner needs.

moving to the suburbs from the city and child

Find a suburb with some action

Maybe you can have it all. Research some towns. There are some great cities that have that lovely suburban feel, with just enough downtown action to prevent the sensation that you’ve lost touch with real life.

moving to the suburbs from the city talking in window of office lobby

Do you need to be in the city, for work?

Ask yourself if you must be in the city for your work. If you work remotely and can work anywhere, or your company could relocate you, it could be worth it to agree to live in the suburbs for just a few years. You can see how you feel after that.

moving to the suburbs from the city of an affectionate young couple standing arm in arm in their home

Make friends in the suburbs

Make friends who live in the suburbs. Then, you always have a guest room to stay in when your partner needs to get away that’s just a train or car ride away.

moving to the suburbs from the city shot of a happy young couple spending time together outside

If it had to be him or the city…

Ultimately, you may need to ask yourself this: if you had to choose between the city and your partner, what would you choose? You love the city but could you be happy there without your partner? If not, and he needs to leave, then you have your answer.

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