I’m a bit embarrassed about the red flags I missed in my previous relationships. I’m not just talking about missing first date red flags—those are easy to miss. They go by so quickly. I’m talking about carrying out long-term relationship in which there were, so clearly, problems. My friends in happy relationships must have shaken their heads at me back then. I’d make them endure double dates (and even couples vacations) with these guys who so obviously were not for me. For the record, none of them were bad—they were just bad for me. The dynamics that should be in place for a healthy relationship were all missing. I’m sure my friends and family saw it then. I, however, only see it now that I have found a great relationship. You often have to find the right one to understand why the others were wrong. Here are relationship traits you realize were wrong, when you find the right one
Seeing his friends as a waste of time
Putting aside some of my free time to spend time with my ex’s friends was always a nuisance. I didn’t think of it as building relationships I’d have for a lifetime (because I wouldn’t)—I just thought of my boyfriend as stealing my free time and making me spend it on his friends.