Buying A Home Before Getting Engaged: Why Many Couples Do It

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first home buyer of a couple holding up a blackboard as they move into their new house

First comes a mortgage, then comes marriage, then comes—wait a minute, that’s not how the song goes. But it’s the path a lot of couples are taking these days. Just recently, a couple I’m friends with who aren’t yet engaged announced that they closed on a house. And that’s actually the third couple I know who’s done that. I guess they wanted to pop the housing market bubble before popping a big question. I don’t see anything wrong with it, but it’s just an interesting departure from the traditional way of doing things. To be honest, my boyfriend and I have had much longer discussions about buying a home—where to buy, when to buy, how much we have to put down, whether or not our parents would be cosigners, and whether we’d favor a large lot in a bad neighborhood over a small place in a posh neighborhood—than we have ever had about getting married. There’s this phenomenon of couples buying homes before getting engaged, so I started talking to some to find out what it’s all about.

first home buyer length of young man lifting woman in new house. Loving couple is surrounded with cardboard boxes. They are wearing casuals.

Buying property is a big(ger?) commitment

Many couples feel that buying a house is actually a bigger commitment and that’s how they’d like to show their devotion to one another. Maybe they have a point: two people are certainly legally bound together if they own property together. Walking away from that is no easy task.

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