Buying A Home Before Getting Engaged: Why Many Couples Do It

September 5, 2018  |  

first home buyer

Gettyimages.com/Shot of a couple holding up a blackboard as they move into their new house

First comes a mortgage, then comes marriage, then comes—wait a minute, that’s not how the song goes. But it’s the path a lot of couples are taking these days. Just recently, a couple I’m friends with who aren’t yet engaged announced that they closed on a house. And that’s actually the third couple I know who’s done that. I guess they wanted to pop the housing market bubble before popping a big question. I don’t see anything wrong with it, but it’s just an interesting departure from the traditional way of doing things. To be honest, my boyfriend and I have had much longer discussions about buying a home—where to buy, when to buy, how much we have to put down, whether or not our parents would be cosigners, and whether we’d favor a large lot in a bad neighborhood over a small place in a posh neighborhood—than we have ever had about getting married. There’s this phenomenon of couples buying homes before getting engaged, so I started talking to some to find out what it’s all about.

first home buyer

Gettyimages.com/Full length of young man lifting woman in new house. Loving couple is surrounded with cardboard boxes. They are wearing casuals.

Buying property is a big(ger?) commitment

Many couples feel that buying a house is actually a bigger commitment and that’s how they’d like to show their devotion to one another. Maybe they have a point: two people are certainly legally bound together if they own property together. Walking away from that is no easy task.

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