Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on MadameNoire August 22, 2018.
In my family, my dad handled all of the finances and my mom never saw a bill. I could see how that was actually problematic for the two of them in many ways. For starters, if my mom had ever looked at the finances, she may have noticed all of the romantic dinners and jewelry my dad had been purchasing…elsewhere (yeah, he was having affairs). And, if my mom had had any idea exactly how much she was paying to have a live-in nanny and housekeeper on salary, perhaps she would have picked up the nanny’s night shift to cut spending. Overall, having one person completely oblivious to the household spending clearly created a disconnect between them. If my mom wanted to buy something that my dad said they couldn’t afford, it just led to both of them angry with the other, and that could have been avoided if they’d both seen the bank statements. Here is why both people should be involved in the finances.
Understanding why the other is stressed
If there are money problems or things are tight, it’s important for both people to be aware of that. If only one is, then it creates a dynamic in which the other thinks that the person in charge of the money is worrying for nothing or just being cranky. If you are both aware of the finances, then you understand one another’s concerns more deeply.