1 of 15

Gettyimages.com/Young woman standing on bed with man lying down

How are women supposed to move on after divorce? Well, there really isn’t any “supposed to” but, I’ve witnessed some pretty admirable methods, one of which being the boy toy. Or the f*&k boy. The booty call. The human attached to a dildo (okay maybe that’s taking it a bit too far—it’s more of a dildo attached to a human). I’ve known a few women who went this route after their divorce. Some people judged them. Some people said they were running from their problems or not working on themselves. But why? Men can have casual sex while working on themselves. Nobody says men need to be celibate after divorce. And, is a little physical pleasure plus an ego boost the worst thing in the world after a marriage that may have been sexless and confidence-crushing? Here is the argument for the post-divorce boy toy.

via GIPHY

It’s nice to know you still got it

After being with someone who you felt just didn’t see you, didn’t notice how incredible you were, and didn’t have a jaw-drop moment each time you walked in the door, wouldn’t it be nice to be with someone who does make you feel that way? You kind of just need to know, after a depressing and sexless marriage, that you still got it. You can still woo, seduce, and enchant like the rest of them.

via GIPHY

Treat yourself—your ex didn’t

Because treat yourself—duh! Your ex probably didn’t treat you. You didn’t feel like he treated you like a queen (which a partner should do). He didn’t actively seek ways to make you feel showered with attention and love, as he should have. So, shower yourself with those things.

via GIPHY

Take back some power

It’s kind of nice to take back some power, after going through something that makes you feel as power-less as a divorce can. When you get involved with a f*&k boy, you make the rules. You’re taking what you want, and leaving what you don’t want.

via GIPHY

It’s uncomplicated

It’s uncomplicated. And you need uncomplicated right now. You send a text, and he shows up. Maybe you have some boozy brunches, and talk about nothing but dumb, silly, fun, and light stuff. It’s the easy, straightforward part of your life.

via GIPHY

You can set up boundaries

You can set boundaries. Your boy toy knows what this is. Maybe he can’t call you during certain hours or try to see you on certain days. Maybe he can’t sleep over or, he can but, he can’t bring his toothbrush over.

via GIPHY

Men do it all the time

If you think men don’t do this, you’re fooling yourself. Men are typically babies when it comes to divorce who cannot stand to be alone for even a minute. A lot of them already know whose arms they’ll run to before even signing the divorce papers.

 

via GIPHY

Make up for those years of suppression

Those years when you needed to fulfill some role, be some person your partner wanted you to be—it’s time to make up for those. You can be whoever you want to be in the bedroom with your boy toy.

via GIPHY

Avoid a new, rushed relationship

Having a f&*k boy is a good way to stop yourself from rushing into another relationship. He’ll provide companionship and sex, and act as a placeholder while you pick up the pieces after your divorce and get ready for a new relationship one day.

via GIPHY

You took care of someone else for too long

For so long, you picked up after somebody, comforted somebody during his meltdowns, cooked for somebody, reminded someone of doctor’s appointments. You aren’t doing any of that for your boy toy and he understands that. It’s time for someone to take care of you. (You can totally ask your boy toy to bring food over and walk your dog—there is sex in it for him).

via GIPHY

They aren’t divorced

Typically, a f*&k boy won’t be a divorcee. He is a boy toy because he’s purposefully kept his life uncomplicated. And, it’s nice to be with someone with no baggage or hang-ups right now.

via GIPHY

They don’t wonder where this is going

Your f*&k boy won’t wonder where this is going. There won’t be lingering, stressful questions about the fate of this relationship. There won’t be all of those concerns and confusion of regular relationships.

via GIPHY

They treat your body like a wonderland

Your boy toy will treat your body like a wonderland. It’s his job and he knows it. He’ll cherish you, spend time on you, and make you feel like the goddess your ex didn’t.

via GIPHY

It’ll rebuild your confidence for dating

Spending some time with a f*&k boy will help you rebuild your confidence for the dating world. He’s like a…starter boyfriend before you get a real one. Consider him the sample size before you buy.

via GIPHY

It’ll make your ex jealous

I mean, if that’s something you’d like to do—if you’d like to show him what he missed out on and remind him that plenty of other people are willing to cherish you—the f*&k boy can help accomplish that.

via GIPHY

You won’t grow attached

F*&k boys are so aloof. They won’t grow attached. They’re too busy thinking about their…beanies? Vintage record collection? I don’t know. But you don’t need to worry about their feelings.