Why Every Woman Should Have A Good Male Friend
I love my male friends so much. When I end a day hanging with them, I just have a totally special feeling. It’s different than how I feel after hanging out with my female friends. Neither is better or worse—they’re both wonderful in their own respective ways—but the way my male and female friends make me feel is decidedly different. I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as a guy’s girl, by the way. I am obsessed with shows like “The Golden Girls” and “Sex and the City,” I absolutely love to shop, I’m rather sensitive, and you better believe I speak to puppies and babies in some ridiculously high-pitched tones when I meet them. But yes, even I have several good male friends and I’m so grateful for them. They’ve helped me through a lot, and taught me so much. Here is why every woman should have good male friends.
You can teach good habits
First of all, I get the chance to help them in their dating lives and relationships. I can point out their mistakes, and I can explain to them the things they’re doing right and wrong in a calm way that their wives and girlfriends—who are affected by these things—cannot explain because they’re too close to the issue.
You can get insight
I also get insight on certain male behaviors from my male buddies. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve totally misread something a guy I was seeing did or said. My male friends have stopped me from making major mistakes that would have sent great guys running, or would have left me seeing not so great guys.
They can assess your dates
I’m in a serious relationship now but, when I was single, I thought it was important to bring the men I dated around my male friends. Men can just read other men— quickly—in a way it takes me a long time to read them. Plus, it was just important to me that any guy I dated could get along with my male buddies!
To do things your female friends don’t like
Let’s all stop pretending that there aren’t some activities that men tend to like more than women, and that women tend to like more than men. When I’m feeling a more male-centric activity, I can turn to one of my male friends to go with me.
They tease you in a special way
Guy friends just have a great way of teasing me that at once teaches me so much about myself, makes me laugh, and still comes off as gentle. My guy friends can point out to me the way I come off to all men in general, and it can be so hilariously insightful.
They’re protective of you
My male friends are protective of me! Sometimes, if you’re a single woman, you just want that particular protective masculine energy after an upsetting day. And a male friend can provide that.
It keeps you from acting needy
Honestly, when I was single, having tons of male friends kept me from jumping into relationships or being too needy of the men I dated. I wasn’t starving for male companionship, because I had it, so I was able to make more mature romantic decisions.
You can get unbiased and honest sexual advice
I can get unbiased and honest sexual advice from my male friends. They have no skin in this game—they can give me uncensored feedback if I tell them what I try in bed with my partner. They’ll give it to me straight, without fear of hurting my feelings. The person I’m dating obviously can’t and won’t be that blunt.
They tell it like it is
Male friends just have a way of telling me the truth that doesn’t feel accusatory or hurtful, but also doesn’t pull any punches. I’ve received some of the most helpful criticism about how I am as a friend and person from my male friends.
They tell you to walk it off
I go to my female friends when I need to be coddled, and to my male friends when I need someone to tell me to get up off the couch, walk it off, take a few shots of whiskey, and get back out there.
They show other guys that guys like you
Honestly, having male friends just shows potential love interests that dudes like to hang out around me, and that I know how to communicate with men and maintain relationships of some kind with men.
Only the boldest of men will approach
When I was single, going out with my male friends helped me filter out some of the duds in the romantic department. It immediately disqualified any men who were intimidated by the fact that I have male friends, or would have jealousy issues about the fact that I have male friends.
So you don’t just hate men
It’s not safe to only have friends of your own gender. You can become too close-minded. Okay, I’ll just say it—you can become a man-hater. If you’re a single woman who hangs with only single women, you know you all start talking about how terrible men are and then you have no interactions with good, male friends to counteract that idea.
To set a high standard for your partners
I won’t accept a romantic partner who doesn’t treat me at least as well as my male friends treat me, and they treat me pretty well. I know that men can make plans, keep plans, keep their word, call and text in a timely manner, and be open about their emotions because my male friends do all of those things. So there’s no excuse for a romantic partner not to.
You just understand dudes better
I just understand men so much better by having male friends around. It’s kind of like learning a language—you can study it and read about it, but there’s nothing like immersing yourself in the culture to really get a feel for what it’s all about.