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I’ve dated individuals at various stages of therapy—spanning from one person who told me, after we’d been together for about six months, that he felt he needed to go into therapy to a guy who, after we’d been dating a year and a half, confessed he’d secretly been in therapy the whole time. Neither revelations felt amazing. With the first guy, naturally, I couldn’t help but wonder is this my fault? Do I not make you happy enough? Is this going to change things between us? And with the latter individual, I just felt lied to. That was a pretty massive piece of information to hide from me for over a year. I understand that therapy is private, and nobody needs to reveal that they’re in therapy to someone they’ve only been out with a few times. But over a year? That’s a bit different. If your partner has told you he’s going into therapy, or already has been in it for a while, you may be wondering: can you date someone in therapy? It’s not a yes or no answer.

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First, you shouldn’t be the cause of the therapy

First be sure to clarify that your relationship—or, more specifically, you—aren’t the impotence for this therapy. If you’ve only been dating someone for under two years, and they need to go to therapy because of this relationship then, it’s probably just not the right relationship.

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