When Your Partner And Your Sibling’s Significant Other Can’t Get Along

April 13, 2018  |  
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In a perfect world, everyone you loved would love each other. I mean, if you see the beauty in all of your friends and they all love you, then wouldn’t it stand to reason that they would all adore each other, too? Unfortunately, that’s not how things always work out. You connect with each of your loved ones for very different reasons. This friend may appeal to this one side of your personality, while this other one appeals to a totally different aspect of your character. If you consider all of your friendships in a Venn diagram, with you being at the center, you can quickly see how many of the people you adore could be vastly different from one another. It’s not a huge deal unless those people are big parts of your lives—like your spouse, your sibling, and your sibling’s spouse. Here’s what it’s like when your significant other and your sibling’s significant other don’t get along.

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Birthdays aren’t such a joyous occasion

Your birthday should be about you, and having everyone you love celebrate you. But instead, it’s also a day on which your partner has to deal with being around your sibling’s partner, who he doesn’t like. They behave for your sake, but you feel the tension still.

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A free stay at their place comes at a price

When you visit the town where your sibling lives, you technically have a free place to stay in her house. But that means dealing with your significant other staying in her significant other’s home, too. And he doesn’t like taking favors from someone he doesn’t like, so it all feels very strained and awkward.

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Then there are big, family vacations

Sometimes, your parents want to round everybody up for a big family vacation. They rent a giant cabin in the mountains and invite you all up. Both you and your sibling want to bring your partners, but they’d rather your parents didn’t witness their disputes. Of course, neither of you is willing to leave your partner behind. It’s a whole thing.

A troubled wife turns to Reddit for advice after struggling to forge a relationship with her new husband's ex.

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Your sibling can’t vent to you

Your sibling can sort of feel like she isn’t allowed to vent to you about her partner. She doesn’t want you to tell your partner the negative things she said about hers—further fueling his dislike of him.

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You can’t have double couple trips

It would have been really nice to go on double couple trips with your sibling and her significant other. Vacation is one of the few ways you get to spend quality time with your sibling. So it looks like you’ll just have to do that without the partners.

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When you both visit the parents

It certainly would be convenient if, when you all visited your parents, you and your sibling could leave your partners to hang out while you spent alone time with your mom or dad. But that’s not an option, so you have to babysit them the whole time.

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You get angry sometimes

Sometimes you get really angry with the two men for not making more of an effort. Don’t they see how their dislike of one another causes you pain?

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But you also understand

But, also, you get it. You’ve witnessed their arguments. It’s complicated. You can’t really say who is right or wrong but these two guys just can’t get along. You realize that they, too, are in a tough spot.

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It makes your sibling like your SO less

Your sibling can’t help but like your significant other a little less if he doesn’t like her significant other. You were hoping your sibling and your partner could be close.

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And it makes your SO like your sibling less

Then you have your partner, judging your sibling for choosing her partner. That further puts a strain on their friendship.

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Your SO attempts setups

Your partner has not-so-subtly tried to set your sibling up with somebody else (probably one of his friends). He says it was to make her happier but, you know it was just to make life easier for him.

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You want your kids to be friends

You worry about the day you all have children. It’s very important to you that your children are friends with their cousins, and feel totally happy going to one another’s homes.

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You wish they’d bond over dating siblings

You just feel like these guys are missing out. They could really bond over dating siblings—over teasing you and your sibling for your similarities and quirks. But they don’t.

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Honestly, it’s like having rivaling siblings

Sometimes, it can feel like you’ve taken on two rivaling brothers because your partner and your sister’s partner don’t get along. It’s pretty annoying since, without them, everybody was getting along just fine.

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It’s a delicate subject with your sibling

While you understand your partner’s viewpoint, you also want to be supportive of your sibling. So you can’t outright tell her why your partner doesn’t like hers. Meanwhile, she can’t talk to you about why her partner doesn’t like your’s.

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