Times Your Ex Will Definitely Text You

January 2, 2018  |  
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Gettyimages.com/Portrait of young woman standing in front of grey green texture background in studio happily looking down at her cell phone, texting or emailing

There are a few guarantees in life: birth, death, and that your exes will text you. They can’t not do it. It’s a compulsion. In my experience, men text their exes a bit more than women text theirs. It could be because women don’t usually suffer from a shortage of attention from the opposite sex and typically have a few flirtations going on to distract us at any given moment from thinking about the ex. Men, on the other hand, usually need to work pretty hard to get the attention of just one female, which can leave them with some awkward gaps in singlehood when they feel rather lonely and all they have to rely on is the women of times past. They think, “Maybe they aren’t interested anymore but they were—at one point—unmistakably interested so, it’s something.” That’s why, as a woman, throughout your life, you’ll just be going on about your day, and just like a bird sh*t falling from the sky—something you cannot control at all—an ex will text. Here are times your ex will almost definitely text.


When he’s visiting his family

He’s looking at his parents, so happy, so connected and with such a rich history. He’s looking at the life they’ve built for themselves, with children and timeshares and wine collections. And he realizes just how far he is from having any of that…so he texts you, thinking maybe he can build it with you.

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During the holidays

Everybody can get a little text-the-ex happy during the holidays. The holidays mean travel, cozy nights by a fireplace, ice skating, and a lot of other things that can feel a bit sad without a special someone.

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Around his birthday

If he’s single around his birthday, he’ll text. His mortality is hitting him. Another year older, and still without the one. Plus, everybody wants to be the center of attention on their birthday so he’ll naturally want some special female attention.

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When a relationship is winding down

If your ex has been in a relationship for a while and is suddenly seeking out your friendship, his relationship is winding down. Men take an odd comfort in getting attention from an ex when they know they’re about to make a new one. It’s almost like they want to balance things out—make this woman who doesn’t like me much like me again, since this other one is about to hate me.

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After one too many failed dates

After he’s had a string of bad dates, he suddenly won’t remember why you broke up and he’ll only remember how much better you are than everybody he’s recently been out with. And he’ll text.

couple arguing, breakup


After a breakup

Naturally, after a breakup, the ex will text. Breakups are a time when people tend to compare the people they’ve been with, and if you shine through as one of the best, you can expect a text.


When he has a victory and is alone

Everybody wants someone with whom they can share their victories. If your ex is single, he will probably reach out when he makes his first big deal, gets that first big investor for his company, and so on.

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When he is rejected

Some men really don’t handle rejection well. It could be because men spend so much time seeking out female attention and, as such, often feel rejected. Women, on the other hand (as mentioned before) don’t need to look far for male attention. So, when a man has reached his last straw with rejection, he will text.

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When he loses somebody

If your ex loses a loved one, there is a good chance he’ll text you, right from the funeral. People become sentimental and overly emotional around this time, thinking about what could have been for them.


On a solo road trip

I mean: who doesn’t reach out to an ex on a solo road trip? If your ex is on a solo road trip, it’s because he’s doing some soul searching and what he’s bound to find is that he really wants to find the one. But the one isn’t around yet, so an ex will do.


Drunk, at a wedding

We’re all guilty of that one aren’t we? “How did this couple make it here? Up the isle? Surely they had their ups and downs, just as the ex and I did. They persisted; why couldn’t we?” These are just some of the thoughts your ex will have at a wedding before reaching for his phone.


When he returns to your vacation spot

If you see your ex checking into a flight to a place you two once vacationed together, you can expect a text. Nostalgia runs deep in vacation spots and, well, they’re just not as fun when you’re there alone.


Your birthday

Ugh. When will exes ever learn that hearing from them on our birthdays is not a gift—it’s the opposite of a gift.

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When he is sick and alone

Men are not good at taking care of themselves when they’re sick. They usually just lie around and hope they don’t die, taking no precautions like drinking fluids or taking their temperature. Oh, well there is one thing they try to do for themselves: text an ex and see if she’ll take care of them.


When you change your relationship status

When he sees that you’ve changed your relationship status—whether that be from single to in a relationship or the other way around—he’ll reach out. He’s just curious. Why did this guy make the cut? Or why did this guy not? How did he compare?

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