Signs He’s Stifling Your Growth

January 2, 2018  |  
1 of 15 couple sitting back to back in bed and having some problems in their relationship.

What’s the secret to a long-lasting relationship? Everybody wants to know. Many of the answers you get have to do with the interpersonal relationship between the two people in the couple. But there is a very important aspect that is often overlooked—an aspect that, if it isn’t there, will make any other wonderful dynamics of the relationship null and void. That aspect is how the people in the couple affect one another’s lives outside the relationship. When the two people part ways to go to work, travel, be with friends and simply be apart, how have their intimate interactions influenced the way they interact with the rest of the world? No matter how much you laugh and have fun with a partner if he doesn’t help you explore and thrive in your endeavors outside of that relationship, you won’t be happy. On that note, here are signs your partner is stifling your growth.


You haven’t advanced in your job

At the end of the day, you cannot blame your relationship for slowing down your career—you are in control of your life—but a stifled career can be a symptom of an unhealthy relationship. When you’re with someone who makes you feel confident, energized, and inspired, something is bound to move in your career in a three to five-year period.


You do the same thing every weekend

If you suggest doing something new, your partner asks if what you typically do “isn’t good enough for you?” Maybe you’ve even stopped looking into new things to do because you know your partner won’t go for it.

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You don’t make new friends

If you and your partner never make new friends or go to events that new, interesting people invite you to, you aren’t doing each other any favors in the personal growth department.

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You feel blah about the future

You don’t really dream big anymore. You don’t have exciting ideas about the future. Tomorrow isn’t filled with possibility. Your relationship has made your days so painfully monotonous that it’s killed any hope of new, exciting experiences.


You don’t discuss hard subjects

You don’t feel comfortable talking to your partner about your inner dialogues, personal turmoil, personal revelations and such. It’s hard to even imagine that couples sit around and talk about that stuff (but the good ones do!)


Your victories upset your partner

When something good happens to you, it seems to worry your partner rather than excite him. That’s probably because he’s worried you’ll outgrow him—a fear that is bound to weigh on you.

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Your interest in new things worries him

When you say you want to take this class or travel there or learn this language, he immediately asks “Why?” rather than state “Sounds exciting!”


He doesn’t like you going out without him

Your partner makes you feel guilty when you do things without him. Even if he isn’t interested in the museum/movie/lecture, he’s insulted you’d rather attend that than be home with him.


He teases you for smart talk

When you try to have an intellectual conversation, your partner teases you, calls you a nerd, and asks when you became a little philosopher.

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He won’t give you feedback

You have begged your partner to give you constructive feedback on…all sorts of things! Your work, your writing, your behavior, your singing…and he just won’t do it.


His friends aren’t going anywhere fast

Not to be judgmental, but if you’re honest, his friends are rather unambitious. They don’t do much in the way of personal development and don’t seem to hope for big things for themselves. One’s friends are a reflection of that person. And so is one’s significant other…


He doesn’t like to travel

A disdain for travel is a sure sign of someone who has no interest in personal growth, in expanding his horizons, or of challenging his ideas. And that is someone with whom you cannot grow.

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He only wants to watch dumb movies

He thinks documentaries are pretentious; historical or period pieces are boring.


He doesn’t praise your efforts

He doesn’t really praise you when you advance in your work or earn something significant. He doesn’t give you the attention and parade you’d hope for from a supportive partner.


You feel excited when he goes away

You feel giddy when he leaves town. You know this is the only chance you have to try new things and go new places. You almost live a secret life when your partner goes away.

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