Breakups can make people act a little bit nutty. They turn your world upside down. Your entire routine is destroyed. Your sense of safety and support is taken away. It feels like someone pulled the floor out from under you. It’s perfectly normal to act a little nutty by, say, ordering the entire menu at your neighborhood Thai restaurant (just for yourself) or adopting a pet on an impulse. But there is post-breakup behavior we do to just handle our own negative feelings, and post-breakup behavior we do to intentionally cause pain, inconvenience, or trouble for the ex. And that’s always petty. If he’s an ex, then let him be just that—an ex part of your life you don’t need to concern yourself with anymore. Here is post-breakup behavior that’s just petty.
Asking your dates to explain your ex’s behavior
Every time you go on a date with someone new, you bring up the ex, and demand this new guy explain his behavior—as if every man you meet represents your ex and is responsible for his actions.
Burning/throwing away his gifts
Hey, there was probably a woman in need somewhere who could have used that sweater or that blanket…
Sleeping with his frienemy
The only person who winds up winning here is the frienemy because he gets laid. Meanwhile, you have sex with someone you don’t want to have sex with, and your ex feels validated in ending things.
Changing your HBO/Amazon password
It doesn’t really harm you to have someone enjoying your HBO account or making use of the free shipping you get with Amazon Prime. You just want to cause an inconvenience for the ex at this point.
Breaking down/criticizing his new gf
You look up his new girlfriend’s social media profiles, have your best friend over, grab a few bottles of wine, and make a night of just tearing this girl apart, from her appearance to her job to her social life.
Yes, your ex may very well be chubby, bad in bed, dumb, and selfish. But that’s why the relationship is over so just…let it go. Don’t keep texting him to tell him what’s wrong with him, after the breakup.
Filing a restraining order
A lot of people, in some strange, twisted attempt to get their ex back, file a restraining order against the ex…when it is in fact them harassing the ex.
Reporting him on social media
You go on a reporting spree, claiming all his videos on YouTube are copywritten and all of his Facebook content is inappropriate, getting his accounts shut down.
Warning his new dates
You don’t need to message any and every woman you see him interacting with on social media to tell them what an awful guy the ex is. Most of them aren’t even trying to date him, and the ones who are will figure things out for themselves.
Telling his friends what he said about them
You’re going to destroy the guy’s support group? That should be sacred. Sure, he said a few nasty things about some of his buddies when you were together, but don’t go telling them that.
Telling his family his irresponsible habits
He smokes, drinks, or gambles. So you decide to tell his parents. All you do is make an innocent, elderly couple panicked. It’s not like they can really stop a grown man from doing those things.
Posting his romantic/cheesy notes online
Anything he wrote while you two were in love and happy should be kept private. You can criticize the things he did when he was angry and awful, but posting the admittedly cheesy but sweet love letters he wrote you online and tearing them apart is savage.
Publishing his sexual inadequacies
Everybody’s got them. Nobody wants them online. And don’t be so certain that if you post his online that he won’t post yours.
Not paying him back
Money and love are separate and should remain separate. No matter how crappy of a guy your ex was, if you owe him $300, you owe him $300. He may even take you to small claims court over that.
Faking a pregnancy scare
No matter how awful an ex was, nobody deserves the potentially heart attack-inducing news of an accidental pregnancy.