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Before the entire day is spent configuring, packing, and taping up boxes; before the $300 is spent on movers; before giving up the apartment you love and searched for for months, and the selling of half your belongings that won’t fit in the new place, you should know—and we mean know—that cohabitation is more of a good idea than a bad one. And here’s how.

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Science has shown us that the chemicals that produce the feeling of infatuation die off after two to three years in a relationship. After that, only true compatibility will keep a couple happy. But just happy, not ecstatic. And it feels good to be ecstatic, and you and your partner deserve to have that forever! So, how do you recreate what your chemicals are failing to create for you? By keeping the spark alive like this.

A lot of times a relationship will end and we really have no idea why. Things were perfect, or so you thought. Everything seems to be going in a positive direction and then one day everything fell to pieces. In your quest to find true love, you’re bound to come across relationships like this, but there is a reason behind the rhythm. Here are 15 reasons why good relationships go sour.

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Lies and deception

Dishonesty and deception in any relationship is bound to put things to a halt quickly. That one second that you catch him lying or vice versa, the trust between you two has been breached. Even the best of people in the best of relationships can be dishonest and deceitful. But, when it happens, prepare for more lies, and a possible end to the relationship.

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You can be in a one-sided relationship and not even know it because A) You want to see what you want to see and B) The guy you’re seeing puts in just enough effort to give you the hope he’ll commit, eventually. But here’s a truth about men: they’re either all in immediately, or they never really are. Here’s how to know if you’re the only one taking your relationship seriously.

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Let’s face it: everybody wants to fall head over heels for somebody. Even the self-proclaimed lifetime players would give up that lifestyle for someone who swept them off their feet because you can’t choose when you fall in love. And just like you can’t decide not to feel in love if you are, you can’t decide to feel in love, if you’re not. But, since the concept seems so good on paper, sometimes we (yes, mostly women) will tell ourselves, “This is love” when really he’s just not the one. Here are signs you’re not that serious about him, hard as you may try to be.

When you’re in love, you just know. But, with other emotions such as infatuation and lust often knocking at the door, it can sometimes be difficult to really know if you’re truly in love with the person you’re dating. Here are 15 tell-tale signs that your heart is going wild.

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Talking and communicating comes naturally

You know that you’ve talked to some people and it was like pulling teeth to keep the conversation going. But, when you’re with your significant other, talking and other means of communicating come naturally, and before you know it, you’ve been talking for hours. Effortless communication is a clear sign of a deep bond.

Know a friend whose boyfriend is her life? It seems like she has the word “Girlfriend” flashing over her head. No decision is just her own. No action is just her own. There of course needs to be a certain amount of compromise and sacrifice for a relationship to work, but some is just too much and can actually distance you and your man, and make you feel like you’re losing your sense of self. Here’s how to keep the balance—yes, these sound surprisingly like single behavior:

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The problem with heartbreak is that, you have to feel the pain. There is no painkiller of heartbreak that doesn’t come with serious side effects. Alcohol, random sex or jumping into a new relationship all—as you’ve probably experienced—just leave you hurting ten times as much as you did before. Because of this inevitable pain, many women crawl into a hole after a heartbreak, and never go back out to find someone new. Here’s a little bit about that mentality, and why it just doesn’t work.

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“I don’t want to get serious again until I want to get married”

That’s the only way to guarantee there will be no heartbreak, right? That’s why so many women say this. But, there are a number of reasons why this just doesn’t work out. There are plenty of people who’ve been separated or divorced, that will tell you, you can get hurt, and probably even more so, once you’re in a marriage.

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When you love someone, but things aren’t quite how you’d like them to be in the bedroom, you might tell yourself, “That’s just the way it is. We could have worse problems in our relationship.” But sometimes, it doesn’t have to just be “the way it is.” And sometimes it does. Here’s what can and can’t be fixed about your sex life:

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Our generation are the masters of casual dating. Send a “I miss you” text too soon, ask him to go away for the weekend within only the first couple months, plan a second date within the same week as the first and your friends raise an eyebrow. “Don’t rush things” they say. Stories like those of our grandparents, meeting, falling in love and marrying within a year just don’t exist anymore. And while, I personally don’t advocate rushing marriage, is it really so bad to rush other things?

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